MAKKAH, 13 July 2007 — Why do some girls choose to leave their families and start a new life away from their parents and siblings?
The reasons vary. Some leave because of family problems, others run away after having sexual relationships with men, and some leave with an aim of escaping conservative and strict parents. By fleeing, these girls hope to seek out a new life that would allow them to feel at peace.
However, most girls end up facing new problems and dangers when they run away. Asma, a high school teacher in Makkah, said that she was left perplexed when one of her students asked her for help.
“I was surprised when this girl told me that I had to help her. She said she was going to run away from home if I didn’t solve her problem. Basically, she had lost her virginity,” said Asma.
“I spoke to her and explained to her the difficulties she would face if she left home. I convinced her to consult a social worker, who would be able to help her in confidence. This would be better than speaking to other individuals who would just take advantage of case and put her in more trouble,” she said, adding, that sometimes such young women are manipulated by people who claim they can repair the hymen.
Meanwhile, Sara, a Saudi teenager, said that she has tried to flee her home several times because her brother “keeps physically abusing” her and prevents her from getting married.
“I got fed up with my brother, who’s prevented me from going to university. He’s trying to isolate me and destroy my dreams. He’s prevented me from getting married,” she said, adding, “I’ve had to tolerate him and his torture since my father died 10 years ago. He beats me and burns me. My mother gets kicked if she tries to protect me,” said Sara.
“My cousins have tried to interfere, but they’ve not been able to help me. I’ve tried to flee several times, but I come back each time for the sake of my mother,” said Sara.
Zahra is another Saudi girl who was regularly beaten by her father. Fed up, she finally decided to run away. “One day I said I was off to school and never came back. I stayed at a friend’s home. My parents finally found out where I was and took me back,” she said.
However, some girls leave home in search for a better and financially secure life. Authorities recently arrested a 25-year-old Saudi woman who had been living with a 40-year-old expatriate man. The woman, whose father is dead, was in a relationship with the man, who would provide her with gifts and money.
A social researcher, who asked for her name not to be published, said that the number of girls running away is on the increase. “They usually run away with their boyfriends to places away from their families. They’re mainly looking for safety. However, the majority are caught when they’re unable to provide documentation that they’re related to their partners,” she said.
She also added that not all girls run away because of illegal relationships. “It’s a stereotype, which is not exactly true. However, it’s a problem that needs solving. I would urge mothers to build good working relationships with their children. They need to be mothers and friends at the same time,” she said.
Shadia Gazali, head of the Social Affairs office in Jurm, said that there are many reasons why girls leave home. “Sometimes, girls run away when a family member is involved in drugs. Such girls can’t tolerate the atmosphere at home and leave. Some run away due to poverty and illiteracy,” she said.
“These factors could destroy the psychological mindset of teenagers. Of course, a lack of religious education would make them run away without a second thought,” said Gazali, adding that emotional dissatisfaction and conservative practices also cause girls to run away. “Some mothers don’t care much about their daughters and this can drive them to walk out of the door and get involved in illegal and immoral practices. Girls from broken homes also tend to run away. They can’t bear the situation at home. Television is another factor that has inspired girls to do strange things,” said Gazali.
Commenting on the abuse that girls face at home, she said that those who sexually harass their daughters or sisters and abuse them are sick people who need help.
The General Manager of the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice in Makkah Sheikh Ahmad ibn Gasim Al-Ghamdi said that the commission has dealt with lots of runaway cases. “Runaways are generally around 19 and 20 years of age.
The reasons vary; sometimes fathers and brothers sexually harass them. We try solving their problems as best as possible. Some of these cases are very sensitive,” he said.
Maj. Sahil Al-Utaibi, spokesman for Makkah Police, said on average 36 reports of girls running away from home are filed with police. “We look for them and return them to their families. The reasons why they run away vary and we try our best to help them as best as possible,” he said.
