There are some women who are neither married nor divorced. They have no husbands, no social security system or real estate fund that will lend them support. These women are in effect buried alive. I am sure society sympathizes with their situation, but what can it do?
These women remain married on paper to men who don’t exist in their lives and are without their psychological or financial support. They suffer from a disturbed social and emotional state that they can’t handle sometimes. It is a pity that these women live in a Muslim community that knows and acknowledges that Islam does not approve of such a situation. They are neither left to lead a normal married life nor are granted divorce with their cases dragging forever in courts.
“And when you divorce women and they reach their prescribed time, then either retain them in good fellowship or set them free with liberality, and do not retain them for injury, so that you exceed the limits, and whoever does this, he indeed is unjust to his own soul.” (Holy Qur’an 2:231). Unfortunately, men sometimes oppress women and bargain with their wives to return the dowry they had given them. Men forget the life they shared and the years they spent under the same roof and disregard their children. Some do this out of arrogance and stubbornness, feeling superior to helpless women.
A woman told me that she wanted to get a divorce but her husband had a condition that she returns to him her entire dowry. He asked her not to demand financial support for her children if she wanted their custody. He also told her that she was not allowed to ever remarry.
Does Islam approve of such unfair conditions? Is it just a matter of controlling a woman’s life and humiliating her because she wanted to escape living a nightmare with an unmerciful husband?
Many women accept some of these conditions, especially when they prefer to devote themselves to their children and never get married again. Aren’t such cases worthy of support from legitimate institutions, especially if it’s impossible for the marriage to continue?
Islam honors women and assures her a respectable life equal to that of men. But sadly some use their seniority, more than their masculinity, to mistreat women. Authorities don’t intervene to protect women and children from such chauvinistic behavior of men.
Negative impacts of this on a woman could destroy her wellbeing and might continue for life affecting her, her children and society. I’m not trying to say that every woman must be divorced. But it’s not fair to bury an unhappily married woman alive. There must be rules to protect each individual in order to maintain a balanced society.
