Forty-six percent of all cars sold in the Kingdom are secondhand. Something like half the cars that are sold new are made by Toyota. If those figures are true, it makes the Jeddah Motor Show, with the accompanying annual sidewalk-parking championships, redundant. Happily it doesn’t.
The show, running through to Friday, is still the finger-dabbing fantasy park where the traditional family role-reversal — that is where men can be boys and boys can be men (but mercifully without the ignition switched on) — can be indulged in for a few hours. And goats should worry — of which more later. The women who attend — and this year there was a fair smattering of them — are the objects of much instruction.
They leave with much greater insight into the mysteries of the common-rail diesel setup on the Mitsubishi L200 or high-hysteretic rain tires, MacPherson struts and almost mystical revelations about why men drive as poorly as they do. Most of these self-appointed teachers haven’t the faintest idea what they are on about; but their macho has been massaged by a few hours of leaving finger-sized DNA samples on the hoods of egregiously expensive Lamborghinis, making expressive “brrrm brrrrm” noises and hauling in well packed thobes and several chins in a vain attempt at the Schumacker profile.
It’s fun and we men are allowed this indulgence once a year by tolerant wives, many of whom make the final choice about buying the family car anyway. Talking of which, the Saab 97x 5.3i SUV was attracting a deal of interest. A derivative of the GM Trailblazer and its clones, it carries the Saab name and traditions of quality together with a 300hp pushrod V8.
For a week, the Jeddah International Exhibition and Convention Center is a kingdom of inflated claims; believe the advertising and every car is ‘all new’ or ‘completely redesigned.’ Enthusiastic salesmen point out the exquisite beauty of a suspiciously familiar rear-light or the uplifting loveliness of a dashboard.
Cars, let us get it clear from the start, are a metal box with a wheel at each corner intended to transport children, stuffed toys and four cartloads of shopping. It begins to rot as soon as it leaves the factory.
One refreshingly honest young man, Mohammed Al Mirabi, was showing a range of budget cars built in Iran by IKCO. With Peugeot engines, the Samand — described in the literature as “the Iranian national car” — looks a decently put together fleet vehicle with a no-nonsense mechanical and trim specification and a very affordable price tag. Ideal for shopping, stuffed camels and the automotive mauling in Jeddah streets.
The Jeddah Boys, a group of very focused young men who do actually understand cars, know how to build them and have fantasies that I can only fantasize about, were there in droves. (Or is it drives?) The care and attention — not to say hard cash they lavish on restoring and converting cars that should long ago have been recycled as cat-food cans or Jeddah taxis is quite remarkable. Something that vaguely resembled a Camry had received SR120,000 on conversion that turned it into what the owner described as a ‘Playstation,’ whatever that is. I am at a loss to understand why it is that these young people have not been snatched off the street by major car companies to radicalize their designs, run their maintenance departments and put the ubiquitous ‘Turki Mekanicle and Tinkering Works’ out of business. These are talented lads with real skills; they are just a bit lateral in their thinking. Not so much outside the box but turning the box into a skilfully constructed work of art.
At least there was potential for a lively conversation between them and the lad from Alpha Centauri about “ultimate transport experiences”; these guys build them. And the striped goat?
I thought someone had slipped a bracing restorative into my ghawa.
The 30 year old custom-car car one of the Jeddah Boys had on display was white with black stripes; the display mat was white with black stripes and the exterior trim, the goat, was — you’ve guessed — white with black stripes. Patiently nodding off while quietly chewing on a piece of high-hysteresis tire, it seems he was ‘customized’ by fellow car enthusiasts while the owner was out indulging his fantasises in his ultimate transport experience.
The Jeddah Motor Show is that sort of place and has the bonus of being absolutely free! Go at once; leave your DNA on the hood of a Lamborghini and you may be genetically manipulated and come back cloned as a Murcielago.
But keep your fingers away from the goat.
