RIYADH, 30 December 2007 — After repeated attempts at divorce, Elham M., a mother of two, bought her freedom from her drunken husband by settling a court dispute for SR20,000, Al-Riyadh newspaper reported yesterday.
Elham got married when she was only 15 years old. She lived a peaceful childhood filled with love, happiness and dreams of a bright future.
“Unfortunately, he began to change and became an alcoholic,” she said. “I tried to help him many times but his condition became worse. He stopped praying and got fired from his job due to the frequent absences.”
As a result, the family’s financial position began to get worse. He could not afford paying expenses for his family anymore. She added, “I began to suffer under his hand as he hit me for no reason. He even swears at me in front of my children. He kicked me out of the house in the middle of the night many times,” she added.
Elham moved to her stepfather’s house, where she stayed for a year. Under her mother’s pressure, she sent her two kids back to their father.
“After one week I knew that they weren’t going to school and that he frequently beat them up. I called my stepmother to prevent him from beating them up but she was not helpful,” Elham said. “She argued that he is their dad and he can do to them what he likes. Fortunately, they had the opportunity to escape. They took a taxi and came back to me.”
She filed a divorce case at a Riyadh court, but the process took three years because her husband employed a common tactic: not showing up for the court hearing with impunity.
Finally, the judge suggested she obtain a “kol’u” divorce, where a woman can divorce her husband even without his participation by placing a public notice and returning the dowry.
“After I posted the notice in a local newspaper he came to court arguing that I am disobedient and that he wants me back,” she said. “I agreed under the condition that he gets me a home and return my gold. He agreed to my conditions and asked for two months’ time. He didn’t keep his promises and I had to go back to court.”
The judge asked Elham whether she wants to go back to him a second time but she refused. However, to get divorced, she had to return her SR40,000 dowry. She could not afford the money because she had no income. The judge convinced the man to settle for SR20,000 instead of the whole dowry.
“I am currently living with my mother, who cannot afford me and my children. She also doesn’t want my children in her house because she hates their father and she has enough children at her house. She wants me to take my children back to their father but I can’t repeat that mistake again,” Elham said.
“My mother is so harsh. Sometimes, she kicks me out of her house and I go to my aunt’s house. I go back to her house after making many attempts to please her,” she said.
