Sometimes women are the reason behind good things. They are, at other times, the reason behind bad things. I read a shocking news report about a 27-year-old man in Al-Jouf who shot dead his 50-year-old father-in-law after a heated argument.
Sources said that the two men got into a fight after the young man divorced his wife and refused to take her back. The father then rejected the divorce papers. In my opinion, mothers, wives, sisters and daughters ought to have the intelligence to intervene in such situations and try to solve things logically.
But what happens when women are ignorant and foolish?
The divorcee’s father should have thought for a while about what Allah says: “And the divorced women should keep themselves in waiting for three courses; and it is not lawful for them that they should conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day; and their husbands have a better right to take them back in the meantime if they wish for reconciliation; and they have rights similar to those against them in a just manner, and the men are a degree above them, and Allah is Mighty, Wise.”
Divorce in our society has become a trend and an expected solution when the smallest and most trivial of problems occur within a marriage. It is widespread even though it is the worst and most disliked of all permissible actions. The Shariah discourages it and instructs that if a couple cannot stay together and decide to separate, then the husband should issue one divorce.
Divorce has a negative impact on both partners and on their children if any are involved. So before a couple jump into agreeing to marry each other, they should be careful.
However, if they get married and problems occur they need to be patient and try working things out. There are always problems in every relationship. Hollywood romance and eternal love and happiness are only illusions that exist in movies. Real life marriages require hard work. Couples need to understand, respect and value each other within the limits of their relationships.
What I have noticed in Saudi society is that people do not take responsibility of their actions and they flare up at the smallest problems. Family members do not usually interfere to solve problems or support married couples. Instead, I see agitated parents taking sides and worsening the situation instead of helping to improve it.
Reasonable discussions and taking time for things to cool down would definitely bring about progress and reconciliation in a peaceful manner. Wives and mothers have a very important role to play in any man’s life. Women tend to have other women to talk to when they want to give vent to their emotions, but a man has only his wife. Soft-spoken words and gestures of love definitely have a positive impact on any man. Unfortunately, we do not see that a lot happening. When will women understand?
