MAKKAH, 22 May 2008 — Neglecting one’s aged parents, whatever the reason, is wrong. The number of unwanted parents who struggle alone without anyone to help is noticeably on the increase in Makkah.
This sorry situation prevails despite the fact that Muslims are enjoined by their religion to take good care of their parents in old age.
“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy care, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, “my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood.” (Qur’an 17: 23,24)
However, it is a relief that there are, on the other hand, people who care for their elderly neighbors.
Saeeda, 60, is a widow, suffers from asthma and rheumatic pains. Despite having two sons and two daughters, she has been living alone in her apartment in the Aziziah district of Makkah.
“It is true that my children invite me to stay with them. But I do not want to leave the place where I was born and brought up, and where I lived with my husband for over 40 years. I want to die here,” she said.
It would be incorrect to say she lives alone. Her youngest son lives with her. However, he is of little use, she says. He’s never at home and only comes when she receives her pension. He then takes her money and disappears.
“He never asks me if have anything to eat. When I suffer from serious breathing difficulties I use this old oxygen mask. I’ve been asking him to replace it with a good one, but he never listens. Nor does he care,” she said, adding she mainly stays at home suffering in silence.
She has never complained to anyone about her sons and daughters. But, when a neighbor one day asked her about how she was getting along, she told her everything. It was about seven years ago. After that, the neighbor visits her each day, cooks food for her, cleans her house and buys her medicine. “My neighbor never expects anything in return. If she cannot come one day, she sends her daughter to help me,” she said.
Another woman who Arab News met with is a patient at a hospital in Makkah. The woman has been there for two years; she is very ill, breathes through a pipe in her neck and is looked after by an Indonesian housemaid.
Her four daughters, two sons and many grandchildren hardly visit her. The woman’s maid, Dana Mayu, has been tending the old lady for the past 14 years.
“She’s been very kind to me. She would never ask me to do any heavy work and would never allow any of her daughters make me work hard. So I don’t want to leave her in her hour of need and while none of her daughters are ready to keep her company,” she said.
She added that the woman’s stepson would often visit her and offer help. “One day the lady asked me to bring all her jewelry from home and keep them with me in the hospital. I put them in a shelf in the presence of her stepson. Later one of the daughters came and asked me to give the jewelry to her while the woman was asleep — something that I had to do,” she said.
Sulamah Muhammad, another Saudi woman, told Arab News how she used to help her neighbor, an old widow whose children never cared for her. “She could not move about freely because of severe arthritis. I used to help her cook and clean her house,” she said, adding that later she persuaded the woman to stay with her.
“We looked after her until she died some five years ago,” she said.
