A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian sit down for a dinner together....
No, it’s not a joke, but rather the beginning of an event called “Common Tables,” an interfaith group trying to end religious bigotry.
The logic is simple: People who break bread together can break down religious misunderstandings, too.
It all began with the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, when Dave Corby’s first reaction was “to be mad at them — which in my mind was Muslims.”
After thinking it over, however, the 61-year-old founder of the organization said he came to the conclusion that harboring such anger at a broad category of people “was pretty stupid of me... because I didn’t know any Muslims.”
That realization was among several factors that inspired Corby and his wife, Kay, to start Common Tables, a nonprofit, nondenominational group based in Denver, Colorado, aimed at bringing people of different religious denominations together to share meals in relaxed settings — usually someone’s home — and just let them talk.
The hope is that through mutual understanding people will help build better relationships, achieve greater understanding and acceptance of each other’s religions — and sometimes, even establish friendships.
In less than two years, groups organized through Common Tables have thrived throughout the US, which has branches in 30 states and 100 different cities. Common Tables matches up small groups, usually four to six people, from different faith groups who live in the same geographic area and ask them to schedule four meals in a six-month period.
“We also have new members in Pakistan and Australia who are trying to set up Common Tables events in their countries,” said Kay.
Participants are asked to meet “with open hearts and in a spirit of curiosity,” according to www.CommonTables.org.
“We’ve been called the ‘E-Harmony’ of the interfaith movement, and that really sums up what we do, as we use the Internet as a place to gather members,” said Dave, referring to a popular online social networking service in the US. “We continually monitor our databases, and when we get a group of people that is sufficiently close to each other, we notify them that we have enough people to start a forum for dinner.”
Members, who join either as individuals or couples, pay $35 a year, which Dave said helps cover administrative costs and creates a sense of commitment among participants.
Some of the meet-ups are based on specific requests, such as someone who would like to meet with an adherent of an Eastern religion. The groups typically start out in a coffee shop or other public place, both to break the ice and to lay the ground rules on dietary restrictions and religious preferences. Any prohibitions held by a member — such as not eating pork or drinking alcohol — are honored at the dinner table.
Participants are encouraged to meet four times within six months in homes and eat home-cooked meals; this helps create a relaxed, informal setting for conversation.
Dave said there are Muslims that are members of Common Tables, but not enough to fill all the requests they have throughout the US. “There’s a group of Muslims in Denver called the Colorado Mosaic Society, and we’ve become friends with several people there and we’re invited to go to their Ramadan dinner later this month,” said Dave. “We went to a mosque near us and attended prayer services there one Friday to see what that was like and to meet people. And we continue to meet Muslims around the community.”
He also said he was very moved when he went to the mosque and listened to the imam’s speech.
“The imam’s message was the same as it would be in our churches,” he said. “His message that day was that we are all one people, and everything you to do, you do to all people. He closed his sermon by telling people there to go out and to offer unconditional love to one person that day. That really resonated with us.”
Dave said he’s learned a lot through his experience of getting to know Muslims in his community. “Now I don’t feel any different about them than I do with anyone else,” he said. “Everyone really is basically the same.”
Traditionally, religious leaders have traditionally led the charge for interfaith understanding.
Since 9/11, however, veteran interfaith activists noticed a need among Americans for a more personal, one-on-one connection across religious lines outside of the group of active religious leaders. For many, it began with a desire to meet Muslims, to work past the fear and anger caused by the terrorist attacks.
Common Tables stepped in to bridge that gap, and offered that outreach opportunity to people of different faiths living in the same communities.
The groups are free to talk about their faith and cultural traditions and, if they wish, attend each other’s worship or other services.
“This is about compassionate dialogue,” said Dave. “This is about learning there is nothing to fear. We want to create ever-expanding circles of inclusiveness.”
Dave said his activism has expanded his range of tolerance considerably.
“I’m dramatically more open than I was,” he said. “I wasn’t even aware that I wasn’t open.”
It’s not all fine and dandy, however.
“We can’t get enough of (Muslims) to join us,” said Dave. “They are reluctant to participate.”
The problem, he says, is that while there is a great interest among non-Muslims to meet with Muslims, it can be difficult to find interested people from the relatively small Muslim communities in most American cities.
“I guess that since they’re not a large part of the population, there are not as many signing up as we would like,” said Dave.
