To cheer them up, some women celebrate by throwing small parties, inviting those who supported them all the way. A divorce party is a way to mark the end of the pain and suffering that comes with divorce. It could be an occasion to vent, cry and yell in the company of supportive friends and family.
According to statistics, there are 50 to 60 divorces taking place in the courts of Saudi Arabia every day.
Many women are getting divorced every day and most probably are in a bad psychological state when the dust settles. So, instead of crying in bed all day, some believe a celebration eases the pain. Nuha Salah, a 32-year-old mother of three, ended her tumultuous marriage of more than 12 years to a man who was unfaithful and emotionally abusive.
She threw a divorce party to announce the end of her marriage and thank everyone who supported her after her three-year struggle in the courts.
“My divorce was long and painful. After three years of courts and lawyers, I got divorced. I threw a party and invited around 50 friends and relatives who’d stood by me,” Nuha said.
“My ex-husband used to travel all the time seeking pleasure and in the beginning he used to lie that he was going on business trips. I was young at the time and didn’t understand how someone who wanted to settle down could commit such inappropriate behavior.”
Nuha asked for “Khula’a”, which occurs when a woman asks for a divorce in court. Her ex-husband refused and threatened to take the children.
“Now I am free and my kids are with me after a long battle in courts. It was proved that he wasn’t an adequate father,” she added.
Samah Al-Ali, a 28-year-old university graduate, made the wrong decision years ago when she married a man who she initially did not know well.
“My ex-husband proposed through our neighbors. Everyone was happy and we approved of him but unfortunately we didn’t ask people about his behavior,” she said.
“In the first couple of months of our marriage I started noticed many negative things, but I was patient as I thought he would change,” she added.
Samah sadly recalls how her sufferings increased after having her son, when her ex-husband began beating and torturing her on a daily basis at the slightest provocation.
“Now I am divorced and living happily with my family and son. It was a nightmare. My divorce party was liberating. I finally got rid of all the anger and sadness. It marked the end of a difficult and chaotic time.” Samah said.
In other parts of the world, there are divorce-party planners as well as wedding planners.
However, in the Kingdom celebrating a divorce is considered taboo.
“One of my friends who found out that her husband was a drug addict after only one year of marriage asked for a divorce. She believed she could never start a family with an addict,” said Haneen Al-Badr, a 27-year-old accountant at a private company.
“She called me one day crying and laughing at the same time, saying that she got her divorce papers and invited me to a small gathering at her house to celebrate her freedom.”
Al-Badr said that her friend asked her not to tell anyone because she was afraid people might start talking.
“Apparently her mother didn’t know about the celebration because she might not have agreed to the party, which she needed to make her feel better,” she said.
There is no doubt that the celebration of freedom can be emotionally healing. The celebration of a divorce is often indicative of how bad the situation was.
Mona Abdat, a clinical service manager and assessment and educational therapy specialist at the Maharat Center, said that the process of divorce is painful and sad.
However, she believes those parties have yet not reached the level of being called a trend.
“Divorce is certainly painful but not to the extent that they are celebrated. No normal person would hold a celebration. It’s more embarrassing and humiliating to the divorcee to celebrate it,” said Abdat. She also believes it is a defamation of a woman’s reputation and decency.
“Our society and religion doesn’t accept such behavior,” she said. “We understand the pain a divorced woman goes through, but celebrating the end of a marriage would be more harmful in my opinion.”
