Umm Adel tried her best to get a Saudi girl to marry her disabled son who is suffering from paralysis in one of his hands. She could not find any. But when she tried to get a wife for Adel from women of other nationalities, he refused and insisted on marrying one of his second cousins. Now he is 45 and still no one wants to marry this physically challenged man.

Another mother of a disabled son, Umm Abdullah Yusuf, said: “I learned from my experience that a girl’s family refuses a disabled man as her husband because they are afraid of the social criticism that comes from not choosing an able-bodied man as a partner for their girl. They also fear that a disabled man would not be able to take care of his wife like able-bodied men do.’

“Other people believe that the wife of a disabled man will be looked down upon, not as a wife and life’s partner, but as a prisoner for life to nurse the invalid man as long as he lives,” she said. “Also, the parents of a girl lay down impossible conditions for the relatives of a disabled suitor.”

Umm Abdullah also said that during her search for a wife for her disabled son she found girls who were willing to marry a disabled man with the only motive being the rewards of Allah, but one or both of her parents refused for the reasons mentioned above.

Umm Ziyad, another mother of a disabled man, said her well-employed son with hearing difficulties, despite his sweet nature and piety, was turned down as a suitor by a Saudi girl with an identical disability. The girl’s relatives said she was not ready for marriage. Finally, her son had to marry a non-Saudi woman, she said.

Hafsa Al-Khalidi, a social researcher, said the suffering of the families who want to find matches for their children with special needs are complex and no one has a solution. The problem is most acute for those who want to marry Saudi girls.

Then there are parents who refuse to marry off their daughters with disabilities, even to a suitor with an identical disability, because they do not want to be deprived of the state pension provided to the disabled, which, the parents fear, the daughter will take with her when she goes to live with her husband.

Al-Khalidi added that several girls complained to her that their parents want them to use their handicaps to beg for additional income.

Muhammad Ghonaim, a special education expert at Al-Amal Center, said marriage is the right of a disabled person just as it is for the able-bodied according Islam or any other humanitarian stand point. However, a disabled man or woman marrying a disabled or normal spouse is needed to help build their confidence and self-esteem, he said.

Latifa Al-Fuhaid, an expert in hearing and sign language, said: “We strive to arrange marriages for boys and girls with hearing difficulties to normal people or anyone with a different disability — such as a girl with visual problem for a man with hearing difficulty — but seldom do we find relatives who are agreeable to the idea.”

Al-Fuhaid appealed to authorities and organizations dealing with people with special needs to create awareness in society on the needs of the disabled to get married.