When did I last see a smiling Saudi?
Are the expats at fault? Are we hostile to them and don’t go that extra mile to reach out and make friends? Are we here with the one-point agenda of making money?
It always takes two to tango, and however much you try, most Saudis tend to stay out of your way.
I have flown into and out of the Kingdom more times than I care to remember, but I have never seen a smiling face at immigration or customs at the airports here. You are made to feel that you are an unwelcome creature. The contribution of expats to the development of the country is seldom acknowledged. This keeps the foreigner a foreigner, and we are as insulated as our hosts.
An expat’s life can be miserable while youth, health, family affection, love, sex and romance pass him by. His hosts would argue that he gets paid well after all. But he pays a heavy personal price.
Our social interaction is so inward-looking, parochial and even clannish that few open up or try to build lasting friendships with the local people. We don’t because we presume the next Saudi we meet won’t be different from the last who shrugged us off.
As employers most Saudis interact nicely and matter-of-factly, though without much of a human touch. The emotional quotient is rightly said to be the casualty of modern management. So who cares?
Al-Watan newspaper’s finding, reported yesterday in Arab News, that there is no love lost between Saudis and expats on the social plain, came as no surprise to either party. Love was never there to start with.
There has always been just enough give and take to keep things going.
Yet the Al-Watan study observed that Saudis are no longer what they used to be — caring, generous and hospitable souls. What has become of the new generation? Has wealth gone to their heads?
One reason why Saudis have become unsocial among themselves is the disintegration of the extended family, in which all members cared for each other. Present-day nuclear families are inward looking and self-centered and tend to shut themselves off from the world outside.
The interdependence that was so integral to the social fabric has been swept away by an avalanche of sudden wealth. Each man is now an island, and the guy next door might as well not exist.
The massive divorce rate in Saudi society, plus the fact that not many are willing to get married, are clear pointers that the tribal values that have held sway for centuries are crumbling.
As for expats, we need to come out of our self-made cocoons to overcome initial resistance and make friends.
After all, we have nothing to lose.
