Q. I have been introduced to a Shiite family and I am attracted to their daughter. I would like to propose to her, but I am worried my family will not approve, as we are Sunnis and in our local area such differences are given importance. May I ask whether such marriage is acceptable?
(Name and address withheld)
A. Of course it is acceptable. Both Shiites and Sunnis are Muslims. Had the Shiites not been Muslims, they would not have been allowed in Makkah, or near the Kaabah or the Prophet’s Mosque in Madinah. The fact is that there is no difference between Sunnis and Shiites in basic beliefs or in the worship they offer. There are certainly differences of detail, but such differences exist between Sunni schools of Islamic law and no one suggests that they are different in any way. Moreover, Sunni and Shiite Muslims join the same congregational prayer and no one ever thinks that their prayer is any less valid because the imam belongs to the other Islamic sect.
You may realize that the difference between Shiite and Sunni Muslims has a long historical background. It started as a political difference, but then it acquired some legal and Fiqh overtones in order to perpetuate the division. Take, for example, the point of who among the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) companions was the best suited to be his successor. It is a central point to Shiite Muslims. When Ali and his two sons passed away, this difference should have been laid to rest. However, it was perpetuated by the concept of succession that both Shiite and Sunni Muslims embraced, albeit with different types of application.
If we concentrate on the point at issue, I would say that there is no problem with such a marriage. Islam allows marriage with a Christian or a Jewish woman, despite the fundamental differences in beliefs and practices. Needless to say, marriage between followers of different Muslim sects is far more acceptable. However, it should be stated that if either partner upholds certain deviant concepts that are far removed from the essence of Islam that they take their followers out of the fold of Islam altogether, such as pantheism, then such marriage is not allowed. This is because the one who holds such beliefs or concepts is not a Muslim, even though they may think themselves to be Muslims.
You need to explain this to your parents because historical events have deepened differences, and social attitudes have hardened with the passage of time.
Marriage Without Parents’ Knowledge
Q. A woman married in court in Pakistan shortly after coming of age, without notifying her parents, or asking their view concerning her marriage. Her parents are upset because they would have preferred another and a better boy for her. Could you please explain the position of her marriage from the Islamic point of view?
(Name and address withheld)
A. The majority of scholars and schools of Islamic law consider it a condition for the validity of a marriage that the woman’s father or guardian should act for her. This is based on the Hadith that states: “No marriage is valid without the presence of the woman’s guardian and two witnesses.” However, the Hanafi school of Islamic law does not make such a condition. It considers the marriage valid when the woman acts for herself, provided that the other conditions are met. The argument of the Hanafi school is based on the fact that when God speaks about marriage in the Qur’an, He attributes all action to the woman herself. Without wanting to go into the merits of either view, we say that both have strong basis.
As this marriage was conducted in a court in Pakistan, where the Hanafi school is predominant, it took into consideration all the legal requirements applicable in the country. Therefore, it is valid and no action needs to be taken on that count. The father may be angry with his daughter, and rightly so, but this does not invalidate the marriage. He himself would not like her marriage to be pronounced invalid, since it has taken place.
The other point raised by the family is the social status of the husband and the fact that he is rather poor. The advice I would give to the family is that since their daughter has married the man in full knowledge of his economic circumstances, they should not make it a cause of a problem. In fact, they should try to assist their daughter and her husband if they can, in order to improve their situation. Otherwise, they should place their trust in God and pray to Him to assist their daughter and her husband. They may be poor now, but better days may be in store for them.