There are many stories about children being tortured and murdered in the aftermath of a divorce. The majority of such cases happen to girls living with their fathers and stepmothers. We have heard about Sultana who was burned, of Razan who was brutally murdered and of another girl whose entire body was bruised as a result of being beaten by her stepmother. There is also the story of a two-year-old child who shocked the doctors at King Khaled Hospital because of the extent of burns and black-and-blue marks on his body.

Now comes the story of an innocent 7-year-old girl, Balqees. I learned her story from Ghannam Al-Muraikhy’s program “Circles” on TV. Poor Balqees’ story of misery and loss began after her parents divorced and each one married again. She was soon unwanted by either parent and though she lived with her father and his new wife, her life was a living nightmare.

The stepmother abused the child both physically and psychologically; she burned her, starved her, battered her and constantly humiliated her in front of her half-siblings. Her father chose to be unaware and so Balqees began complaining to the neighbors. The case was finally brought to court but the judge returned her to the custody of her father and stepmother. One day, the stepmother battered her until the child’s skull was fractured and she went into a coma.

Parents often fight after a divorce in order to win the custody of children. Mothers want the children because of emotional attachments and the father wants them because they carry his name. And, it must be admitted, some fathers want their children for no reason other than to punish their former wives. If the divorced mother remains single, she can retain custody of the children until they are seven unless they are taken from her by force. At the age of seven, girls are taken to their father’s house and boys are given the choice of living with their mother or father.

These rules are based on Shariah law and were originally made for good reasons. But things have changed. A large number of women are educated, working and may be financially independent. They might even make more money than men. The situation of women today in terms of security as well as social, cultural and financial circumstances is different from what it once was. Despite this, however, we still treat women according to a cultural ideology that vanished long time ago. A woman is deprived of her children and they are given to strange women in the name of being taken care of by their father. Then we believe that we’re doing the right thing and we become bewildered when we hear of a child being abused or tortured. That is exactly what happened to Balqees. The judge took her away from her mother simply to please society, with no thought of what the consequences might be. We ought to wonder why we do not consider who is fit to take care of children? Isn’t Islam a religion that suits all times and places? Then why don’t we cope with change and consider the fact that the way things were done in the past is not always the best way to do them today? It’s safer and more convenient to give custody of the children after divorce to their mother. At that early stage of life, they need their mother more than they need their father. The judge must also review the particular situation and circumstances of both parents before making his decision.

I wish the law and society would review the issue of guardianship and give the mother greater trust and power over her children so that we and society are spared cases similar to that of Balqees. We have to take into account that there will always be failed marriages and broken homes but do they mean we allow adult incompetence to destroy the lives of their children? Why do we punish children for their parents’ mistakes? Why do we always see woman as incapable of taking care of her children while the man is always right? Is it logical that we hear of these terrible stories and don’t think twice? I’m confident that Islam didn’t make rules of guardianship so that innocents would be subjected to danger. So why then do we tarnish our religion’s image by misinterpreting and misunderstanding it?

— Dr. Maha Al-Hujailan is a medical researcher at King Khaled University Hospital in Riyadh.