How many people give up their careers because of one person's opinion?

It is almost a tragedy and yet, one bad report, one negative assessment, one critical comment and confidence crumble like a soggy biscuit.

Most certainly, a person in a senior position can have a harassment quotient and he can even harm you to the extent that you are dismissed or want to leave the job but never let that authority become a judge of your caliber in the long term.

It is only one person who happens to be in a command job and can therefore use that superiority to end a phase of your career. That is life and has to be expected. But the dangerous part is that when you experience such a setback and allow it to gnaw at your self-confidence.

The moment you let doubt enter the picture your goose is cooked. I know it isn't easy to hang in there when you have been dumped but do not be assailed by fears that you are not good enough.

Here is how it starts. You have just been tossed out or bypassed and you are wallowing in the deep end of self-pity and rage. Then the goblins begin leaping about in your mind. Maybe I am not good enough. Maybe the boss is right; maybe I am a has-been, a spent bullet, and a useless fellow who can't hack it, not now, not ever. So many people have changed careers in midstream ending up as misfits just because of one experience where they were on the receiving end of criticism or rejection.

Don't let that happen to you

In all too many cases the dismissal may not have anything to do with your ability and you may just be packing your bags because of policy or compulsion in an organisation or bad times or recession and in the odd case, personal hostility.

Doesn't matter, none of it. What matters is what you think of yourself.

First, don't look upon the closing of a door as the absolute end. Then, do not see your departure as a failure, rather as some-one else's inability to recognize your worth.

Think positive

One executive I know has changed his career seven times in 10 years, on four of which occasions he was terminated. So infectious was and is his self assurance that each time he negotiated a better deal for himself. Lucky? No, he believes in his ability and talent and is reasonably convinced that in this world you spend most of your time serving mediocre people who just happen to be older to you. In his case he only happened to get more than his fair share of inept and that is why they couldn't stick him. Fine, as a work philosophy.

Remember, don’t give him that importance in the aftermath. Then he has won and you have lost.

With current trends in favour of short hops up the career graph it is no longer a disgrace to push off or get pushed. That old long service' "tea and watch" honor is more indicative of mediocrity and lack of enterprise in our instant scheme of things and those that move fast are no longer seen as unreliable and flighty.

On the contrary they are believed to have more ambition and imagination. So use that perception to your advantage and if you are good no one can keep you down. Always take heart in the incontrovertible fact that all those colleagues of yours anywhere you worked who got the ax or skipped on their own are doing better. That is a great feeling. Then again, what is doing

P.S. This piece is written especially for a friend, a good friend who is a non-believer and spends his working life in catatonic fear of losing his job and being up the gum tree. Over the years I have seen him deteriorate steadily, losing along with his hair, his principles and his moral courage. He has become introverted, unsure, nervous and lost his faith in himself. Life has been less hard on him than he has on himself.