Every now and then I have been asked questions about Positive & Creative Thinking by readers of my books, by participants in my workshops or simply in the course of conversations among friends. Now, from time to time, I would like to relate some of these simple questions and their relevant answers, as you might find them useful to your own personal experience.
Beside reporting what has been said, I shall also add a final, little exercise for you to do, if you will take the time. My hope is for you to find an idea or even just a word able to contribute to the search that you are making every moment of your day (mainly unconsciously) of the most suitable path to follow in your journey — sometimes easy, other times difficult — throughout this mysterious, yet beautiful human existence of yours.
Question: “I have been conditioned by other people’s prejudices. What the people I am surrounded by think and believe has quite often determined the way “I” believe and behave. Yet, I am aware that I am living in a society where I detect questionable rules and values, where individualism is growing excessively, where appearance is more important than substance. I try to contrast this situation, but I often find it difficult. I am afraid that — if I decide “not” to conform, I’ll end up feeling different, I’ll become an outcast.
I do not see myself as someone able to face such challenge. I am afraid of the results of such “daring” because I don’t want to be alone.
Answer: When you try to contrast something, you are usually disappointed.
Why? Simply because you cannot do anything to change others. You may possibly be living in an environment where you are surrounded by prejudices, selfishness and values that seem to become more and more meaningless. But it is your task to try to live according to “your own” ideals, while leaving others free to decide for themselves.
I agree that, at least in the beginning, it is not easy to follow your path without paying attention to or being affected by what others might say. It’s not easy all right, but it is possible, believe me. Your success depends on the determination, the faith and the enthusiasm you put into your actions.
How can this be done? Is there a tool available? Yes, it can be done and yes, there is a tool. True independence from outside judgment can be obtained through “knowledge.” Only when you realize the falsehood of the chimera you are lured by, will you be able to cut the bondage of psychological dependence.
What is the “chimera“? It is any thing you are presented with as something valuable, necessary, indispensable to your existence, while it is not. Think about fashion. Think about how many individuals, both men and women, presently believe that, if they do not follow the latest fashion, they will not be valued as worthwhile.
The same goes for attending that exclusive sports club, dining at those expensive restaurants, having that type of car, wearing that kind of designer’s clothes, talking about those subjects, commenting about specific situations. Do you know any of these people? Are you possibly one of them?
Remember that you are not a sheep who blindly follows the ram in a mindless way. Differently from the sheep, you should be wondering “where” you are going, “why” you are going and “how” you are going toward your destination. If you are afraid of becoming an outcast, be patient. You will soon start attracting people who have the same beliefs and values as yours, and you won’t surely regret losing those who had different beliefs, who were definitely walking on a different path. I ask you to believe me, because “I” have had such an experience.
P.S. Suitable quote that a friend recently posted on Facebook.
“We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.”
Exercise: Ask yourself, being totally honest: And I? To what extent am I capable of remaining faithful to my beliefs, to stick to my ideals? If I examine my usual behavior, how do I see myself? Am I confident, sure of myself? Am I able to express my opinion clearly and assertively, or do I rather tend to let myself be “convinced” quite easily by strongly opinionated people?
E-mail: [email protected]
Blog: recreateyourlifetoday.blogspot.com
— Elsa Franco Al Ghaslan, a Saudi English instructor and published author (in Italy), is a long-time scholar of positive thinking.
E-mail: [email protected]
Blog: recreateyourlifetoday.Blogspot.com
