K. Sherman grew up in US. She hailed from a very practicing Jew family and came from an upper middle class family of second generation Americans, tracing roots back to Russia and Poland. Here in this concluding part of her four-part story, she describes how she at times cried to seek Truth and how she embraced Islam.
Accepting Islam obviously necessitates some major work on one's whole outlook on life — not to mention one's wardrobe. There was major work to be done, both inside and out. Getting used to wearing Islamic dress and covering my hair was relatively easy. I'm not one to fret over what people will say, or how they'll react. My only thought was (as it still is) to do what pleased God. People naturally have respect for people who do the right thing, even if they are baffled by it at first. I found the level of respect people had for me (especially native-born Muslims who were not practicing what Islam teaches) to be very high. The much bigger challenge to overcome, as stated, was on the emotional, intellectual front. Accepting Islam as your religion forces you to negate all of your previously held opinions and understandings of things (about both yourself and the world at large). All of a sudden I was compelled to throw everything that I had known or learned up to that point in the dustbin and start all over. That was certainly a major challenge. I was also forced to come to terms with the fact that not everyone was going to share the same zeal and zest I had for Islam, and for finally finding the truth of our existence. To me, it was a no-brainer. If someone were to approach you with convincing evidence that your life actually does have great meaning and purpose, and then proceeded to tell you exactly what that purpose was, only a fool would turn away. That is the nature of kufr, a kafir being a person who has the Truth presented to him, but he refuses to even consider the facts. It is definitely a terrible state to be in. These people cut off their own lifelines, so to speak, severing their connection to God.
As for my friends, they were much less enthusiastic about my reversion to Islam than I was. They thought it strange that I now dressed modestly, refused to talk to any of our male friends, refused to drink, smoke, and do all the other stuff. Needless to say, most of them slowly drifted away from me, as I did from them. As for the major depressive state I was in at that time, it didn't just magically go away after believing in Islam. It wasn't like a light-switch that went on and suddenly let me see everything as clear as could be. No, I remained largely in a depressive state even after accepting Islam, but the difference was that the curve was now heading in the right direction — for the first time ever! I was getting better instead of getting worse. More significantly, I now knew that no medication in the world could cure what I had — I wasn't sick. I had just been misled by the masses and been away from God for so long.
Of all the un-Islamic behaviors I was involved in, the hardest one to give up on was a man whom I considered to be the love of my life. I was involved with an Arab at the time of my conversion, ironically; he was in no way supportive of my decision to become a Muslim. He had no bearing at all on my decision to accept Islam. In fact, I knew that if I took that decisive step in my life, I would have to break things off with him altogether. And that's exactly what I did, as heartbroken as I was at time. I was so emotionally attached to him, so down on myself, and such a total emotional wreck that I was unable to distinguish between someone who was just using me for his own personal gratification vs. someone who really cared about me and wanted what was best. If he had good intentions, he would have encouraged me in the direction I was headed — toward accepting faith — then he would have married me in a halal way. I thank God (with the benefit of hindsight) for protecting me and for making my leaving him the second best thing I ever did, after accepting the religion of Islam.
After recognizing Islam as the Truth, nothing could stop me from implementing its orders right away, both the commands and prohibitions. Waking up at dawn every morning to pray the fajr, or dawn prayer, was the biggest challenge/change I had to make. I knew I would be held accountable for all of my actions from then on, and I wanted to meet God with as clean a slate as possible — after having showered His favors upon me, and having guided me to the Straight Path at a relatively young age. While most of my friends were out partying, and steeped in ignorance, I was prostrating to my Creator and living my true purpose in life; what could be more gratifying and deserving of thanks (to our Creator) than that?
I doubt if any two upbringings — one of parent and one of child — could be any different than mine vs. my children's. I thank God constantly (all praise be to Him) that my children will never know the disastrous effects of being raised in a disbelieving environment, by disbelieving parents. It is enough (of an uphill battle) that we Americans have to contend with the horrendous effects of disbelief; of not knowing who created us, why we are here, what we should be doing, what our purpose in life is, etc. Couple that with a family who shows absolutely no support whatsoever add to that the emotional distress caused by parents who don't make their children feel wanted or loved. It is a criminal act, in my opinion, to have children and then do not make them feel the least bit wanted. It is pure child abuse, which can be just as devastating, if not more, than physical abuse, which everyone agrees is inexcusable. Thank God my children will never experience any of that sickness. Thank God for the blessing of Islam upon us. Thank God for the religion that teaches its followers that children are a blessing. I have recently written a book on Islam, called Why Islam?, to combat the negative image that non-Muslims have about our religion. It's not my personal story; I wrote it to acquaint people with the beauty of the religion of Islam. The book is available by contacting Islamic International Publishing House.
Thank God for the religion that lets us see everything in its true light.
(Concluded)
• Courtesy of www.islamreligion.com
Islam lets us see all things in true light
