NOT so long ago, a friend asked me what the main differences were between our Arab newspapers and Western ones. I answered that for many years, our papers had concentrated on official and government news and opinions. In the West, on the other hand, the same type of items were certainly published but there was also an additional focus on personal and social issues. The press attempted to give some insight into the lives of ordinary citizens including their concerns, problems and how they viewed and reacted to social and economic changes.
At present, Arab papers are no longer what they used to be and I am happy to say so. There has been a great increase — in fact by leaps and bounds — in the interaction between the Arab press and the Arab people. People now often take time to respond to newspaper articles; they write their opinions and comments and we often see that a number of divergent views are presented on a single subject. This is a sure indication that our society is becoming more mature. Though we comment freely on articles whose subjects range from politics to football, the idea of a dialogue in the media has only recently entered our lives.
Some columns that are very popular and widely read in the West are those which offer advice on social, marital and personal problems. People write their problems to a columnist; both question and answer are then published in the paper. Most of the columnists responding to the queries are experts in the field; others make use of their innate common sense. In Sayyidaty, an Arabic women’s magazine, Fouzia Salamah has been giving advice to the troubled for many years. The well-known male columnist, Abdullah Bajubeer, has also frequently published words of wisdom for the distraught, the desperate and even sometimes, the demented.
In the United States, the most famous of these columns are Ann Landers and Dear Abby. The two columns are syndicated in hundreds of American papers and also in many other English language papers outside the United States.
The same friend who asked me about the differences also wondered whether we had such an advice column in Arab News. I had to say no for the simple reason that we don’t have a qualified local psychologist or psychiatrist on our staff. We would be happy to answer the sort of questions that trouble people but in order to do so, we would have to have competent well-trained professionals with strong Islamic values. I explained this requirement to my friend and he understood my reasoning but nonetheless, he refused to leave matters there. He wanted to know if we at Arab News ever received letters similar to those sent to Fouzia Salamah. I told him that indeed we did and further, that many of them were often directed personally to me. In such cases, I tried to reply to them privately. The man would not give up and then demanded some examples of the kinds of letters I sometimes received.
Two sprang to my mind at once so I proceeded to satisfy his request. The first was from an engineer from the subcontinent. He wrote that his mother-in-law (who happened by the way to be an Arab) constantly harassed him and had, on one occasion, even struck him! He said she was nosy, bossy and thought it her right to control his life. Once she had even bit him on the shoulder! Her daughter claimed to love the man but that did not deter her mother from threatening him with divorce!
The other was from a very disturbed and distraught woman who discovered after 10 years of married life that her husband was having an affair. The woman said her husband was behaving like a love-struck teenager, totally oblivious to his family’s feelings and pleadings. He was thinking seriously of marrying his “newly-found beloved!” The woman wanted to know if I felt it would be all right for her to go to the other woman’s house and assault her. She cited a few cases where she thought I had suggested just such a course of action. I had some difficulty calming her down and finally was able to formulate advice which was both acceptable and logical in her opinion. Unfortunately, since we don’t have any advice columns in Arab News and my response to her was on a personal level, I cannot explain what I thought she should do. Perhaps some of our readers will have their own ideas. No doubt it would be interesting for me to compare their solutions with mine. — [email protected]
