Q. My mother was given a house by her father as a gift on her marriage so that it will be her mahr. Recently, the house was in a very bad shape, so I had it demolished and re-built, paying all the expenses. I told my parents that all the expense was a gift from me to them, so that they could live comfortably. My mother wants the house to be registered in my name, but I have refused, saying that my two brothers and two sisters have their shares. I intend to give them the price of their shares in cash, so that the house remains in its original shape. Is this permissible in Islam. What is the share of each one of them?
(Name and address withheld)
A. I am not sure what shares the reader is speaking about. The house belongs to his mother, and he has made her a gift of footing the expenses of its reconstruction. His action is a mark of loving dutifulness, for which he may expect very rich reward from God. As such, the house remains his mother’s and neither he nor anyone of his brothers and sisters have any shares of it as long as their mother is alive. Therefore he cannot pay them any shares.
If the reader is speaking about their prospective shares when their mother dies, then this is a prospective share which no one can define or evaluate. Moreover, such a share is not permissible to sell, because no one knows whether he or she will be alive to inherit from the mother when she dies. How could the reader tell that all his mother’s five children will survive her so as to inherit shares in the house? If he wants to buy them off now, how could he evaluate a share that has not materialized? This is something similar to what the Arabic proverb says: “Buying fish when it is still in the water.” Such a sale is not valid. When his mother dies, the reader may agree with his brothers and sisters on the formula to receive their shares of her property. Of course the house will be inherited by those of her children who survive her. The shares are determined by the survivors on the basis of one share for a daughter and two shares for a son. If the reader’s father survives his mother, he receives a share of one-quarter, and the remainder is shared by the children on the basis I outlined.
For argument’s sake, if the mother were to die tomorrow and all her children and her husband survive her, then her property is divided in the following way: one-quarter to the husband, and the remainder is divided into 8 portions: one for each of the two daughters and two each for the three sons. If the father dies before the mother, then the children receives the whole house according to the portions I outlined. At that point, the reader may buy out the shares of his brothers and sisters according to the price they agree.
Incompatibility in marriage
Q. My marriage life, which has continued over 9 years, has been afflicted by the fact that my wife cannot bring herself to living within our means, which are much more limited than those of her own rich family. She apparently was used to spending on luxuries and even trivialities sums that I simply cannot afford. This has led to much friction, arguments and quarrels. I have come to the conclusion that perhaps divorce is the only solution. We have three children, and members of my family have talked me out of going through with a divorce at least on one occasion, but I see no prospect of an improved family life. My question is whether according to Islam this constitutes proper grounds for divorce, or would I be punished by God on the Day of Judgment if I divorce my wife.
H. M. D, Onaizah
A. Divorce is a legitimate way of ending a marriage. Therefore, it carries no sin and incurs no punishment. God knows that human beings may not be happy in a marital relationship, so He has provided them with a decent way out of it. The important thing is that one does not do an injustice to one’s spouse when the divorce takes place. It is unfairness that is wrong and sinful. If it is deliberate it could incur God’s punishment. So, in principle, a man is free to divorce his wife when he is convinced that to continue with the marriage brings him and the family more harm than good.
Your problem is one of incompatibility. Your wife’s background puts her in a financially better situation than that you can provide for her. As such, she is unable to come to terms with the lower standard of living you are able to provide, even though it may be a decent standard that many others would dearly love to have. Hence, the problem.
I have no doubt that you have tried hard to come to terms with the situation, but this is something very difficult to do if the other person is unwilling or unable to assess the situation in a comprehensive way, looking at all factors and making a list of priorities according to their effect on one’s family life. However, my advice is to try again, particularly seeking the help of someone in your wife’s family who could be more understanding. If your father-in-law is wise, you may be able to take him into your confidence and speak to him privately about the whole problem, stating that you are seriously considering a divorce, knowing how bad it would affect your children. He may be able to persuade his daughter to change her ways, or may be he would assist financially by giving her a regular allowance so that she may be able to buy what she wants without putting a strain on your finances. If this is not possible, then speak to your wife in a very cool way, without allowing the discussion to develop into a quarrel, stating your intention of terminating the marriage as you see no way of improving the situation. May be if she feels that you are serious, she will think again.
If neither way works, then resort to the method God has outlined, appointing two arbiters, one from her family and one from yours. If they can work out a compromise, which is satisfactory to both, well and good. If not, then divorce is the only way. Should you find it inevitable, beware of making a final break that cannot be mended. Divorce is done once at a time, with the husband making sure that the time is right for his wife to start her waiting period immediately, then pronouncing the divorce once only. To do it three times together is forbidden. During the waiting period, your wife stays with you in the family home, but you use separate bedrooms. You remain responsible for her living expenses and maintenance.
Marriage expenses and inheritance
Q. I am the only son of my parents who also have five daughters younger than me. I have contributed heavily to the expenses of my sisters’ marriages, and now I am saving to see my fifth sister married. Our father died recently, and the house he left behind is now in our mother’s name. If we sell the house to share our father’s inheritance, what is my share considering the expenses I have paid?
S. Iliyas, Riyadh
A. What you have paid to see your sisters married does not affect your share of inheritance. You will be rewarded richly by God, if He so pleases, for your goodly action, and this reward may come sooner rather than later, but it does not come in the shape of a different rate of inheritance. Since you are the only son, it is your lot to help your sisters, and this will be rewarded insha Allah. But do not expect to have that reward in an increased share of inheritance.
Your father’s estate should be divided as follows: one-eighth to your mother. The remainder is divided into seven shares, with each of your five sisters receiving one share, and you yourself take two shares.
This case provides just one example of the heavy responsibilities shouldered by men in Muslim families. Here is one son paying most of the marriage expenses of his five sisters. It is only natural that he should receive more, because of his heavy responsibilities, compared to theirs. He is thus given a double share in order to help him with his responsibilities.
Questions on prayer
Q.1. A friend of mine says that it is important in prayer to lift one’s hands up in every rakaah; otherwise the prayer is invalid. Please comment.
Shabir Khan, Jeddah
Q.2. Could you please explain the different types of prayer: what is Sunnah, Wajib, and Fard?
A. Zahed, Jeddah
A.1. Lifting one’s hands to be level with one’s ears is strongly recommended at the start of prayer, when one begins by saying Allah akbar. This is agreed by all scholars. In addition, the Shafie school of law rules it as recommended to do the same with every takbeer one makes in the standing position. This means that it is done just before one bows for rukoo and as one rises after it, and when one starts the third rakaah. As I say, all this is recommended either by all scholars or by a particular school of law. When we say that something is recommended, it follows that doing it is preferable and earns reward, but omitting it does not affect the validity of the prayer. In other words, the information received by the reader is wrong.
A.2. What is Fard in prayer refers to the five obligatory prayers: two rakaahs of fajr, four rakaahs of each of Dhuhr, Asr and Isha, and three rakaahs of Maghrib. There is nothing else obligatory in prayer.
What is Sunnah refers to recommended prayer, offered on a voluntary basis. This means that if one does not pray the Sunnah, one does not commit a sin, but deprives himself of the reward he would have otherwise earned. The well-known Sunnah prayers are: two rakaahs before Fajr, two before Dhuhr and two after it, two after Maghrib and two after Isha.
An even more strongly recommended Sunnah is the witr, which is three rakaahs after Isha. The Hanafi school of law considers it Wajib, which means that it is binding, but this is difficult to accept, as it would raise it to a status approximating the obligatory prayers. If we say so, we mean that a person who does not offer witr leaves himself open to be punished by God. But God does not punish anyone for leaving out something He has not imposed as a duty.
There are other recommended prayers, but in a lesser extent than the ones I mentioned above, and these are called nafl in some parts of the Muslim world. These include 2 rakaahs before and after Dhuhr in addition to the ones outlined as Sunnah, and four rakaahs before Asr prayer.
