A reader, whose name and address are withheld, has asked us to explain the responsibilities of a Muslim woman when her husband is absent or working abroad. It seems that the question is concerned mainly with a long absence, not a short trip lasting a few days. Such an absence of the husband creates a very difficult situation for the wife, particularly when cultural traditions dictate certain requirements which may not be very convenient for her, or she may not be able to cope with. Hence, it is important to know what are her duties and what are her rights. If she is asked to do more than her duties, it should be appreciated that she is being kind and what she is doing should be met with gratitude. If some of her rights are unavoidably denied her, then again her being accommodating should be appreciated.
To start with, it is her right that her husband should not prolong his absence more than four months at a time without her free and willing agreement. She is also entitled to have her full expenses provided at regular intervals, so that she is not left wanting for any thing that is necessary for her and her children.
She should have a suitable accommodation, according to her husband’s means. If that is in a flat or a house which belongs to her husband, she should be provided with suitable care so that she can call on someone who is trustworthy in cases of emergency. If she is left with her parents, then that should give her the best sort of care.
Many people consider that such a wife should stay with her husband’s family and give help in household duties. This is not necessary, but it may be suitable. There is no requirement that she should stay with her in-laws.
If she does, then they must know that she is not required by Islamic law to do all household duties. She is expected to help in order to maintain good relations, and to be kind to her husband’s parents, but she is under no obligation to do so. Hence her kindness should be appreciated as such, not to be treated as a fulfillment of a duty. She should at all times be very respectful of her husband’s parents and maintain good relations with his family.
On the other hand, she should protect her husband’s property and reputation in his absence. There is no need to speak about her duties of being faithful and of having no relationship with any man which is unbecoming of a religious and faithful Muslim woman.
That is taken for granted, and it is a duty of every Muslim woman whether she is staying with her husband in the same home or he is away, and even if he does not mind her having such a relationship.
She must also look after their children as best as she can. If she does all that, she is deemed to have carried out her responsibilities.
