Q. People maintain that talking to a person from the opposite sex is forbidden in Islam. Could you please clarify the case.
Abd Al-Rahman
A. The most important thing to know with regard to such a question is that the authority to prohibit anything belongs to God alone. No one else may decide that a thing is forbidden, not even the Prophet. In fact, the Prophet has stated this principle on several occasions, making it absolutely clear that when he tells us that something is forbidden, he only does so on the basis of clear instructions given to him by God. Therefore, when a scholar says that something is forbidden in Islam, he has to provide evidence in support of his statement. If he cannot, then his claim falls. Moreover, unless there is clear evidence to support prohibition, things remain permissible.
The question the reader puts speaks of the mere talking to people of the opposite sex, i.e. a man to a woman and vice versa. He does not tell us whether what is claimed also includes relatives, and of what degree. For example, is it forbidden for a man to talk to his mother or sister? Most probably, the people he is quoting will say that at this level talking to the other sex is permissible. If so, what about the next level of relatives, such as granddaughters, nieces and aunts? Or even the next degree, such as cousins of the opposite sex?
In answer to this question, we may say that the Prophet’s wives were always talking to Muslim men on every sort of occasion. Otherwise, we would not have learned the more than 2,000 authentic Hadiths they reported. The Prophet himself talked to all women, relatives and non-relatives. Verse 53 of Surah 33 outlines the standards Muslims should adopt when entering the Prophet’s homes. It tells us that when Muslim men ask the Prophet’s wives for something they should do so from behind a screen. This means that the Qur’an takes it for granted that people would want to talk to the Prophet’s wives. Moreover, we have hundreds of reports, some of which are authentic Hadiths, speaking of conversation between men and women who were companions of the Prophet. They were unrelated, yet talked to each other. It never occurred to anyone of them that such talk is forbidden.
Of course, if the conversation is frivolous or leads to suggestions that are not in line with the serious moral attitude of Islam, such conversation may be forbidden, but only because of its contents, and not for being between man and woman.
Unfortunately, some sections of Muslims have come to adopt a very strict view of the relation between Muslim men and women. This strict approach is alien to the Islamic view of the relation between men and women. The suggestion the reader mentions is only one aspect of this approach. May I say that authentic Hadiths reported by the Prophet’s companions suggest that Islamic society is in no way as strictly segregated as such rigid views tend to suggest.
Organ donation
Q. Is it permissible in Islam to donate one’s eyes, after one’s death, for transplant?
Abdullah Muhammad, Jeddah
A. All organ donation that takes place after one’s death is permissible. Therefore, it is appropriate to carry a card indicating one’s willingness to donate one’s heart, kidneys and other organs for transplant in the case of sudden death. Some people suggest that since our bodies belong to God, we cannot do so, but this is a wrong argument. When an organ is donated, it is placed in another body which also belongs to God. It simply helps a fellow human being to have a better quality of life. This is encouraged by Islam.
Student loans
Q. Is it permissible in Islam to take a student loan to pay for one’s studies at college or university?
Akram
A. Most students in some Western countries are unable to pay for their university education from their own resources. Governments have largely stopped the grant system, which used to provide for the basic needs of students. Instead they offer them student loans, which they have to repay with a little extra amount after they have taken up a job and their earnings are above a particular level. The extra amount is charged in lieu of the expenses of running the system, keeping track of the students as well as their employment and earnings. As such, this is not a usurious loan exploiting personal needs. On the contrary, it is a loan provided by the government to make it easy for young people to study and improve their education. As such it is appropriate for a Muslim student who cannot afford higher education to take such a loan, even though he needs to pay for the administration costs.
Forgiveness of sins
Q. You mentioned in reply to a question I had put earlier that a person may be forgiven all sins, including murder, rape, etc. We have learned that God forgives only those offenses that are committed against what is due to Him. As for offenses against other people, He forgives these only after the victims have been satisfied. You also said that most people search and choose their religions. The fact is that most people follow the religion they inherit at birth and are brought up in. Please comment.
Muhammad Asif
A. It is true that sins are of two types: those committed against God’s rights and those committed against the rights of other people. If a person who has committed sins of both types repents and becomes a genuinely good person, seeking God’s forgiveness, God may readily forgive him what is owed to Him. However, He does not forgive the rights of others until they themselves have forgiven the offender. Hence, people should always try to make amends to anyone they have injured or abused in any way.
Having said that, we should also remember that a person’s repentance may be total, and yet he may not be able to redress what he might have committed against others. In this case, God may wish to help him obtain complete forgiveness. He will take over the satisfaction of the aggrieved party. Thus, on the Day of Judgment, God will ask the injured or abused person to forgive the offender, and He will compensate him or her for the injury they might have suffered. Needless to say, such people will be better off with the compensation they receive from God, rather than by taking away some of the other person’s good deeds. It is in this way that crimes against other people, including murder, theft, rape, etc., are forgiven.
What I said is that people normally make a choice about their religion, and this choice is either to continue to follow the religion they grew up in, or to reject it. The choice may be an implicit one, but it is made. When a person grows up and becomes independent, he may remain religious or may abandon religion. In either case, he is making a choice. It does not mean that most people will study different faiths and choose one on the basis of a deliberate attempt to find the most suitable one. It simply mean that the course they follow in their lives involves a conscious or semi-conscious choice of attitude towards religion. This is the gist of what I said, and I think it is correct.
An alternative to istikharah?
Q. A friend of mine has told me that if I wish to have guidance from God on something I intend to do, I should read Surah 36, Ya Seen, before going to bed on three consecutive nights, making my purpose clear. Each time I should take two pieces of paper and write “Yes” on one and “No” on the other, wrapping them separately. I then draw one randomly. The one which appears twice in the three nights is the choice given through God’s guidance. May I ask whether this is correct, and whether it is an alternative way to istikharah?
Ali Mahmood
A. No, this is not a correct way. Islam does not teach the drawing of lots in such a manner. The Qur’an is not meant to be read in this way. The Qur’an should be read as an act of worship, and to reflect on its meaning and its message. Such rituals are far from acceptable.
We may seek God’s guidance on any question that involves a choice, but this has to be done in the way the Prophet has taught us, which is known as istikharah. This involves offering two voluntary rakaahs at any time, and following them with a prayer seeking God’s help on the basis of His knowledge to guide us to the right course. After that, one follows what appears to be the easier choice that is facilitated for him or her. There is nothing to suggest that the choice will be shown in a dream. It is only indicated by its being easier, ready to take.
Arab News Islam 7 February 2003
