A story appeared in Al-Watan last week of a young, extremely shy girl from Alkhobar who pleaded with her mother to impersonate her in front of the marriage official (ma’zoun) on the day her marriage contract was to be signed. She was to inform him of her acceptance of the marriage. Luckily the ma’zoun was quite alert and was able to discern from the lady’s firm answers and lack of any virginal shyness that she was not who she claimed to be. He asked her to swear that she was the bride, and when she wouldn’t the deception was revealed. The ma’zoun solved the dilemma by asking for a written acceptance from the bride and thus she was spared from having to be present in front of him and the marriage contract was signed. This simple news item was a warning of important and complicated issues that have so far been ignored, as have many other issues related to women in our society. The issue is proof of identity, especially in judicial matters. Not all stories end like this one. Often the girl is ignorant of or never gave her consent to such ruses.
Another story that comes to mind is of a girl who had just finished high school. At 18 she began dreaming of a respectable life with a husband. He didn’t necessarily have to arrive riding a white steed or even driving a car. He didn’t need to bring jewelry and gifts or to be from a well-to-do family. All she asked was that he should be someone to protect her from danger and for whom she can feel affection — but fate had something else in store for her.
A young man approached her family about marrying her. He was of sound body but not mind. He had been rejected by all mental rehabilitation centers as well as by every city girl he had approached. Everyone was well aware of his sad state. He was violent and sometimes attacked his mother. She thought that the best way to get rid of him would be to arrange his marriage to a girl who would take care of him. She began to look to the villages for a girl he could marry.
Unluckily, and perhaps because of the ma’zoun’s inattention, a marriage was contracted between the mentally retarded young man and the eighteen-year-old girl. How could such a catastrophe have occurred? Only those who planned for this crime and got paid for it will ever know the truth — meanwhile the girl she struggles with attacks by her mentally retarded husband whenever he is in a violent mood or if he wants to toy with her body out of sheer boredom. This is a true story, and it is happening as you read these lines.
A matter such as this requires firm action. If a woman can be thrown into such situations simply by being absent in issues that affect and shape her future, there is a need for a thorough investigation. That village girl’s story is not the first and will not be the last so long as women are absent from courts and other organizations. The matter is too serious and it cannot go on for much longer. Women in this country are in dire need of representation at the Ministry of Justice and in judicial matters so that they can take care of their own problems and to protect them from such crimes. Why can’t we have trained female officials at the country’s borders and in government departments so that a woman’s identity can be confirmed and her consent in matters that affect her ascertained? Doesn’t an issue such as this deserve all our efforts in order to save hundreds and maybe thousands of women from situations like this that arise out of ignorance or greed? How long will we keep our minds closed and pretend not to see the tragedies befalling our daughters? Why do we insist on accepting to the status quo?
— Wajeha Al-Huwaider holds an MA in Reading Management from George Washington University. She is based in the Eastern Province.
