Q. I embraced Islam 3 years ago, but I kept this a secret because I could not bring myself to losing my children and my family. I cannot find a way to convincing my husband to become a Muslim. I also fear that if I am separated from my family, I will not be able to influence my children to be Muslims. I am told that my marriage is dissolved the moment I embraced Islam, but I feel that God would not afflict me with this, as He knows that in my heart I believe in Him and in His final messenger, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Please comment.
(Name and address withheld)
A. In Surah 40, God tells us about a man who belonged to the household of Pharaoh but was a believer concealing the fact of his faith. The Qur’an makes it clear that God accepted him as a believer, described him as such, and praised his attitude in confronting Pharaoh’s tyranny. This shows that God will judge everyone as He knows people’s situations and what they are able or unable to do. He does not charge anyone with more than he or she can bear. This is a standard rule in Islam.
I certainly appreciate your concern for your children and your keen desire that they should get to know Islam and to be Muslims. If you are to fall out with your husband, there is a strong chance that you may lose every chance of doing so. Therefore, you have to tread carefully.
As for your marriage, you are in a difficult position, but it is not true to say that your marriage was dissolved the moment you became a Muslim. This view is at variance with the views of many an eminent scholar over the length of Islamic history, including Ali ibn Abu Talib, Ibn Taimiyah and Ibn al-Qayyim. I have more to say to you on this point, but I need to have more details from you before I could give you a considered opinion.
Meanwhile, I recommend you to slowly and gradually try to influence your husband’s view of Islam. You should try to point out to him what you may know to be welcomed by him. If you manage to get him to view Islam in a positive light, you may then approach the point of conversion in an easy manner. This gradual approach may take you to the desired goal of having all your family turns to Islam. May God help you and guide your footsteps.
- Arab News Islam 8 September 2003
