Q. Is it necessary for a man who wants to marry a second wife to first obtain his wife’s consent? What about divorce: Is the wife’s consent necessary for divorce to go ahead?
S.K. Khan
A. In neither case the wife’s consent is necessary for the other development to go ahead. It is a concession God has given Muslim men to marry more than one wife. Therefore, when a man feels that his circumstances make it desirable or useful that he should have another wife, he may go ahead and do so. The first wife may either accept the situation or ask for divorce if she feels unable to tolerate the situation.
Having said that, I should point out that some Muslim countries have introduced laws making it obligatory for a man to obtain his first wife’s consent before he can arrange a second marriage. This is not required in Islam. However, people are always advised to abide by the law in their countries.
The other point I wish to make is that polygamy is allowed in Islam as a measure to solve some social problems. It is not a question of satisfying man’s whims. The Prophet has indicated that one wife is always preferable so that a man does not expose himself to the risk of treating his wives unfairly when he is required to maintain fairness between them at all times.
It is not necessary to have one’s wife’s consent for divorce either. God states in the Qur’an (2: 228) that men are given a step over women in the matter of divorce. This step is the right to terminate the marriage contract unilaterally, although it is a contract between two parties. We must not forget that this is done within an Islamic context, because under Islamic law, it is the man who suffers financially in the case of divorce. However, in many countries, the wife is far more adversely affected. This is unfortunate, but Islam cannot be blamed for what people do against its laws.
We must not forget that in Islam divorce is brought into effect through a long process. However, people often resort to it in a highly charged way, not looking at the process and what it entails. In this way, they are unfair to their wives, children and indeed to themselves. This must never be the case.
Platonic Love
Q. Does Islam permit platonic love? If a man loves a woman and wants to marry her, but his parents object to the marriage because of the girl’s poverty, or the low standing of her family in society, could he marry her, disregarding his parents’ objections?
S. Anam
A. Platonic love is supposed to be a love relationship that is purely spiritual, not physical or sexual. In point of fact this does not happen in real life. It is merely an abstract idea that has little or no practical room in life. Islam does not give a verdict for an abstract notion, unless it materializes in some action. As for the feeling of love, this is normally beyond man’s control. As such, it carries no verdict unless it leads to forbidden action, when it becomes forbidden.
A man may marry whom he wants, even though his parents do not approve of his choice. As an adult, he is responsible for his actions. If they object to his choice on the sort of grounds the reader has described, then they may be unfair. Poverty is no reason to reject a person who may otherwise be good and virtuous. What the man needs to do is to consider the effects of this marriage on his overall family relations. He should weigh up his choices. Most importantly, he should consider his proposed marriage in a careful and rational way. If he feels that the woman of his choice is likely to build with him a happy family, and to live with him within the limits Islam establishes for human life, then he should go ahead with the marriage, trying always to make his parents see the good points in the woman’s character.
Obligatory Sunnah
Q. Could you please explain the most important Sunnah, the omission of which constitutes a sin.
K. Shaik
A. To suggest that one incurs a sin for omitting something means that doing that thing is obligatory. Thus, Zuhr prayer is obligatory, and to deliberately omit doing it incurs a sin, because one fails to meet one’s obligation. When a person commits such a sin, one is subject to punishment by God, unless one repents and seeks forgiveness.
On the other hand, a Sunnah is something that the Prophet has recommended to us, and doing a Sunnah increases our reward from God. It is a voluntary action which we do of our own accord, following the Prophet’s recommendation, knowing that he only taught us what is good for us. This means that a Sunnah is not obligatory, but rather a voluntary action that earns God’s pleasure.
To suggest that there is an obligatory Sunnah is to make a contradictory statement. What is Sunnah is recommended: to do it is to earn reward, but to omit it incurs no sin.
The reader has not mentioned in which area he is asking about the Sunnah, because the Prophet recommended things in practically all aspects. If it is prayer, then the two rak’ahs before Fajr and the Witr after Isha are the most important, followed by two rak’ahs before Zuhr and two after it, as well as two after Maghrib and two after Isha. But the omission of any of these does not constitute a sin.
