There is no shortage of “talking” these days: Debates rage perhaps sporadically, but always intensely. What is obviously lacking, however, is the admirable ability to listen. No one seems to listen to what is being said. Perhaps much of what is being said is not worth listening to, but how can you know if you don’t listen to begin with? In my professorial days, I used to require students to read at least two “trashy” novels in order for them to appreciate good writing.
A famous Arab comedian two decades ago played an Arab potentate, and one of his memorable lines was this one: “People have the right to speak; we have the right not to listen. This is Arab democracy.”
Americans are good at dialogue, both the talking and listening. However, they are coming here in numbers to do more listening than talking according to their declared agenda. This is understandable considering today’s realities. We have politicians, businesspeople, educators, travelers and the odd eccentrics who really want to know. They take notes, ask questions, and are subjected to a number of tirades ranging from “you are to blame” all the way down to “why don’t you do something?”
Having witnessed some of these “debates,” I must admit that I found the Americans handling themselves admirably. One Saudi woman, who was supposed to represent the country, spent every opportunity she had to complain and then beg for her son to get a visa. Another highly “educated” man never tired of repeating the mantra of Zionist lobbies in America. He was gently reminded that there “was no sign on the Hill saying no to Arab lobbies.” He did not get the message, which basically said, instead of complaining, do something about it by joining the game.
If I were an American listening to this, I would have noted two distinct trends: Personal matters are above all else, and blaming the other is the general trend in any kind of dialogue.
Personally, I am addicted to dialogue, heated or otherwise. What I fear is that we might be nothing more than witnesses to a charade disguising itself as a dialogue when it isn’t. Half measures are worse than no measures at all. If the Americans are coming to talk and to listen and then go home and do nothing, this admirable effort will backfire.
After participating in quite a number of such meetings, I must admit that I did not find myself hugging and kissing the same Americans at the end as others did. Yet, I certainly understand that nations do not and should not hug and kiss to resolve problems. They should have a relationship based on an important common denominator: Language and reason, not to mention mutual interests.
