It is universally agreed that kindness is a good way to win people’s hearts. People are normally grateful when they receive kind treatment, particularly from someone who has nothing to ask them in return. A good person may wish to be kind to others as much as he can. But sometimes kindness may not come easy, particularly when one feels that it is not appreciated by the recipient. Hence, to be kind at all times is a seldom-found quality. The Prophet (peace be upon him) provides a rare example of a kind person even to those who are not rude and unappreciative.
Abu Hurayrah reports: “A Bedouin came to the Prophet asking for help. The Prophet gave him something, and asked him: ‘Have I been kind to you?’ The man said: ‘By no means, and you have not done me well either.’ The Muslims present were very angry, and they rose to punish the offender. The Prophet, however, signalled them to stop. The Prophet then rose and went home. He sent for the Bedouin and asked him to come into the house. There he gave him something over and above what he had already given him. He then asked the man: ‘Have I been kind to you?’ The Bedouin said: ‘Yes, certainly. May God reward you well, for you are good to your people.’ The Prophet then said to the man: ‘You came to us and we gave you something, but then you said your words and my companions were displeased with you. You may wish to say in front of them what you have just said to me, so that what they feel against you will be removed.’ The man agreed.
“The following day, or may be in the evening of the same day, the Bedouin came over. The Prophet said: ‘This friend of yours came to us and asked for something, and we granted his request, but he said what you heard. We then invited him home and gave him something extra, and he claimed that he was happy. Is it so?’ The man said: ‘Yes, indeed. May God reward you well, for you are good to your people.’”
Abu Hurayrah continues: “The Prophet then said: ‘The case between me and this Bedouin is like that of a man whose she-camel went on the loose. People chased her, but they only made the camel more rebellious. The man called out to them: Leave me alone with my she-camel, as I know her best and I can turn her round. He then went to his she-camel facing her, taking something from the ground and got her to slowly and gradually calm down, until she came to him and sat down. He then saddled her and mounted her. Had I left you to your feelings as the man said his words, you might have killed him, and he would then be in hell.’” (Related by Al-Haythami in Majma’ Al-Zawaid.)
What is clear in this Hadith is that the Prophet had to put up with rough manners from all sorts of people. In this instance, the man is given something, but he thinks that it was too little. Rather than expressing his feeling gently, which could have easily brought him an increase, he is rude, expressing his anger very bluntly. Yet he did not have any claim to anything. He was not asking for something which was owed to him. It was only a case where someone thinks that he has a right to be given money by the state. Hence, it was only natural that the Prophet’s companions should feel angry with him, and some of them would rise to punish the offender. The Prophet, however, handled the situation in a totally different manner. He took the man home and gave him what made him satisfied and happy.
Had the Prophet stopped at this, he would have given us a great lesson in handling uncouth, rough mannered persons. But the Prophet goes further, suggesting to the man that he should make his feelings clear to the people so that none of them would continue to think ill of him. When the man comes in to do so, the Prophet might have sensed that he was embarrassed. So he helped him by stating the case. The man then finds it easy to confirm the new situation.
The Prophet now gives his companions, and followers in all generations, a clear lesson in handling people. He gives an example close to people’s life, which they encounter everyday: A rebellious camel going on the loose and people chasing it. This will only frighten the camel and drive her further away. The possibility that it might not be caught is very clear. Only the calming and wise interference of the camel’s owner who patiently tries to soothe her will get the camel round. In dealing with the man, the Prophet gave him what he wanted out of his own personal resources. Thus, he showed him that he did not take his rough manners against him. He also showed him that he cared for the man’s standing with his companions and pointed out to him how to rectify the situation.
This is in line with what people who were very close to the Prophet said about him. Perhaps no one gives a more accurate picture of another person than a servant describing his master when he is no longer in his service. A person’s attitude toward a servant tells us whether that person is kind, understanding, forbearing, compassionate, or otherwise. Anas ibn Malik served the Prophet for ten years, starting at the age of ten. He says: “God’s Messenger was the best mannered person. He once sent me on an errand, and I thought that I would not go. Yet deep inside I wanted to go. I left and aimed to join some kids who were playing in the street. Soon the Prophet was behind me, holding me by the collar from behind. I looked at him and he was smiling. He said to me: ‘Unays! Have you gone where I told you to go?’ I said: ‘Yes, Messenger of God! I am going now.’” (Related by Muslim, Ahmad and Abu Dawood).
It is clear that Anas was still a young boy when this incident took place. He was still entertaining thoughts of not doing what he is told to do. Later, as he became more mature, such thoughts would not even occur to him. Yet, he realized that he should do what he was bid, but went nevertheless to play with other kids.
This could have brought him painful punishment had he been in the service of any person other than the Prophet. But what the Prophet did when he saw him playing with other boys? Nothing more than to smile and to call him Unays instead of Anas, which is a form indicating smallness, and used generally for endearment.
