Q. Could you please explain the husband’s right to his wife’s salary? If she wants to give a portion of her salary to her parents, can he stop her?
A.H. Bulla
A. Islam has given women their full financial rights long before any other political or religious system. Under Islam, a woman has equal rights to earn, own, spend and otherwise dispose of her property as she wishes, without interference by any male relative, be he a father, husband or guardian. As long as she is an adult and of sound mind, she has the right to do what she likes with her money and property. These two conditions apply to males and females equally.
Unfortunately, some Muslim communities impose a subordinate status on women, but this has nothing to do with Islam, although Islam is often said to endorse such subordination. The fact is that such situations are based on local culture and tradition. Islam does not endorse them. A woman has the full rights to her earnings and property. A husband is well advised not to meddle with his wife’s property, because he does not have any claim to it. He must still support his wife and look after her, providing all she needs of food, clothes and housing. She does not have to spend anything on the family home.
Having said this, I should add that nowadays many married couples work, and the wife’s work leads to extra family expense, such as extra transport, nursery fees for young children, help with housework etc. It is right, therefore, that the woman pays a share of the family expense, which should at least offset the extra expense they incur. What is left is her own property and her husband cannot have a claim to it.
Regrettably, some husbands use the traditional status given to them by their local culture and try to impose their will on their wives and take away all, or most of their salaries. If they do it, they are committing a sin. A husband cannot take any portion of his wife’s money without her full agreement. He does not have any say as to how she uses it.
Take the example given by our reader. The woman wants to help her parents but her husband objects. How absurd! If she helps her parents, she will be dutiful, earning God’s pleasure and reward. All sons and daughters are required by God to be kind to their parents. Now her husband objects to her kindness to them. By doing so, he is not only making an absurd claim; he is committing aggression against her rights. He should fear God and leave her to do what she wants. They can make reasonable arrangements for their own family, but what is left of her salary is her own property and he has nothing to do with it.
Clothes and Appearance
Q. If a man with closed, thick eyebrows removes some hair to thin them, does he commit a sin? And if a man wears silk ties and suits and then discovers that this is forbidden, how should he repent?
R. Dijam
A. The Prophet (peace be upon him) has cursed the woman who has her eyebrows plucked and the woman who plucks them for her. He also mentioned similar actions that women use to enhance their beauty. He described them as putting out a false appearance and changing God’s creation. If this is the Islamic view for a woman, it applies more strongly to a man, for whom being handsome is of less importance than beauty is for a woman. Where it may be permissible, however, is in the case where a particular aspect of one’s appearance causes much embarrassment, or problems for a particular person. In this case, that person is allowed to remove what causes such problems. Take the case where appearance makes a person too sensitive so as to sweat when he is in the presence of others, particularly strangers or persons in higher positions, feeling that all eyes are on him or her, and then to remove the cause is permissible. Having said so, I should add that the proper thing is not to feel embarrassed about any aspect of one’s appearance or features. What God has given us is good. But we cannot disregard that different people feel differently about certain things. Hence, the exemption in such cases is individual, and is measured in relation to the case itself.
As for wearing gold or silk, these are forbidden for men. If one did this in the past, one should repent, regretting the past action, intending to stop and resolving never to repeat it. If such repentance is sincere, God will, if He pleases, accept it and forgive it.
