Q. Living in Canada, I often find it difficult to stay up for Isha prayer in the summer, when it falls due after 11 p.m. Is it permissible to offer Isha prayer together with Maghrib in order to overcome the difficulty? This is an important question, particularly for the young who need to go to school the following morning.
S. Asif
A. The important thing to realize is that Islam is practical and easy to implement. Where there is difficulty in attending to its teachings, concessions are always at hand. Hardship is always removed. This applies to all aspects of Islamic worship. Just like prayer is reduced during travel, and fasting waived during illness and women’s period, every difficulty is considered and a suitable solution is found.
In the summer, people living in northern areas in Europe and Canada find it difficult to stick to prayer timings, particularly Isha and Fajr. In fact, the timing for the beginning of these two prayers is indefinite, because the mark that signals the beginning and end of Isha time range is blurred. It cannot be defined. Different scholars and astronomers have come up with timings based on estimation, with different formulae applied. Each formula is based on some valid argument. But regardless of all these timings, any person who finds it difficult to stay up until a reasonable time has lapsed after Maghrib can offer Isha prayer either jointly with Maghrib, or shortly before going to sleep, without hesitation. This concession may be used until such time in the year, as the timing is clear, based on a definite sign. This differs from place to place. The further north you go, the harder the difficulty and the longer the period. Generally speaking, it lasts from early or mid-May until sometime in August. However, individual people may estimate their own difficulty according to their circumstances. As long as they find it difficult to stay up, they may use this concession. It is much better to pray Isha immediately after Maghrib and wake up for Fajr than to stay up for Isha and miss Fajr due to lack of sleep.
Rights of In-Laws
Q. May I give the case of a married woman whose husband agrees that she could visit her parents everyday, but his parents or other relatives object? Can they stop her from doing so? Because they try to stop her, she insists on this visit every day, and this leads to problems. She feels that if they do not interfere, she might not insist on a daily visit. Also, does Islam accept the notion of an extended family that includes brother-in-law and sister-in-law?
(Name and address withheld)
A. One of the main obligations that we are all required to do is to be kind and dutiful to our parents. This applies to every boy and girl, man and woman, young and old. To stop anyone from doing his or her duty is wrong and cannot be sanctioned. On the other hand, parents are required to take good care of their children. While this is essentially done in their upbringing when they are young, it continues when they are adults by giving them advice, and giving them help wherever it is needed. In all societies, the parent and child relation is the strongest, but under Islam it is given an extra vigor by the mutual obligation Islam requires of both.
I am amazed that parents who have children of their own should try to stop others from being dutiful to their own parents. Do they not realize what effect on them this could have? The reader says that she is keen to pay her parents a short visit every day, inquiring after them and spending with them a delightful break. Her husband has no objection, but his parents object. Unless they have some valid reason for their objection, which does not seem to be the case since the husband does not object, then they are wrong. What is more, they do not have any authority to interfere. If the woman in question pays no heed to their wishes, she does no wrong. However, she should look at the situation carefully, and she may find it advisable not to confront them with open defiance. It may be far more practical if she tries to win them to her side, rather than be in conflict and argument with them over this issue.
Unfortunately in some Muslim communities, a son’s wife is treated unfairly by his parents. They do not think of her as a new addition to the family, or as a daughter, but as a stranger who must conform to their own wishes and values. If these happen to be mistaken, or in conflict with what she prefers, then trouble arises. The husband is caught between conflicting obligations toward his parents and his wife. But all this is unnecessary. If Islamic principles are observed, none of this takes place. A son’s wife should always be treated like their own daughter, and given a little extra because she is a guest in the family who helps to give it further extension into a new generation. The feelings of her own parents should always be taken into consideration. Relations between her new family and her own parents and family should always be maintained at the highest level.
One more thing, these parents of our reader should consider what their own attitude would be if their daughter is prevented from visiting them by the parents of her husband. How upset will they be, and how unfair will they think the treatment? Should they not be fair to their daughter-in-law so that their own daughter should be fairly treated?
The reader is right on her last point about the concept of an extended family. In Islam, a married woman retains her family name and does not adopt her husband’s surname. This emphasizes the fact that she continues to have her own identity separate from her husband. The brothers and sisters of her husband are not her own brothers and sisters. She cannot stay with one of his brothers alone in a house or room like she does with her own brother. With her brother-in-law she behaves in the same way as she does with a man who is a complete stranger. She has to dress in front of his brothers in the same way as she dresses when she goes out, covering her head and all her body. When the Prophet was asked about this relation, he described it as “death”, meaning that if it is allowed to go wrong it could lead to the destruction of the whole family. He was referring to what often happens when a man is too familiar with his brother’s wife. It is far better that the relation be kept formal, maintaining mutual respect.
Missed Prayers
Q. I have recently read in a book that missed prayers are offered at a later time as qada. In a previous answer, you said that there is no such a thing as qada in prayer. All prayers must be offered at the time when they are due. Could you please explain the discrepancy?
Baduruz
A. What is important to realize is that if a prayer is missed through negligence or laziness or taking a lax attitude, it cannot be offered after its time has lapsed. There is a fault here that cannot be remedied by offering the missed prayer after its time has passed. The only way to redeem oneself is through repentance, seeking God’s forgiveness, and a resolve not to be negligent again.
On the other hand, when prayer is missed for a valid reason, such as oversleeping, loss of consciousness, forgetfulness, etc. then it should be offered as soon as possible after one has become aware of having missed it. The Prophet says: “If anyone sleeps through the time of a prayer, or forgets it, then he should offer it once he is aware of it, for that is its time.” This means that although the missed prayer would be in this case offered after its time has lapsed, it is still offered as if due now. God relaxes the time allowed for this prayer and allows the person concerned to offer it then. It is not a qada prayer, but one offered on time.
