Q. A verse in the Qur’an commands Muslims to obey those who are in authority. Is it true to say that this applies at home and in society, at all levels? If we take the home as an example, then children must obey their parents, and a wife must obey her husband to the extent that if he tells her to sit or stand, she complies. Otherwise, she is in violation of this order. On the other hand, governments may issue orders that must be obeyed, such as the imposition of taxes. What should a Muslim’s attitude be in such cases? What if such orders are in violation of some Islamic rules, or prevent the exercise of an Islamic duty or a Sunnah?
M. Ansar
A. The verse you are referring to states: “Obey God and obey the Messenger and those from among you who have been entrusted with authority.” (4: 59) But it is clear that it speaks of society as a whole. It defines the proper order in society, which requires obedience to God and His Messenger in all situations, as well as obedience to Muslim rulers in general. The fact that the verse speaks of people in authority “from among you” clearly spells out that these are the Muslim leaders of the Muslim communities. Thus, when many Muslim countries were under colonial rule, the colonialists were the ones who exercised authority. Muslim individuals had no obligation to obey such authority. Today, Israel exercises authority by force of arms over all Palestinian land. Palestinians do not have any obligation to obey. In fact, it is their duty to resist such tyrannical authority that robbed them of their land by force with all means available to them.
However, when we speak of obedience to Muslim rulers, we must remember that Muslim rulers are also under clear obligation to implement Islam in full. In human life there is no right that does not carry a responsibility. When people fail to discharge their responsibilities, they forfeit the rights due to them. Thus, a Muslim ruler who turns his back on Islam and imposes a rule of his own forfeits his right of being obeyed in all matters. This right remains only within what is compatible with Islam. The Prophet (peace be upon him) defines the limits of obedience in this respect, saying: “A Muslim must listen and obey in whatever he likes or dislikes unless he is ordered to commit what is sinful.” He also says: “No creature may be obeyed in what constitutes disobedience to God.” Thus, it is clear that Islam does not establish a community of robots that obey commands, regardless of what they are. A Muslim must know what is acceptable to God and what is unacceptable. He obeys only in the first, but gives no obedience in the latter.
We must remember that the Islamic system establishes certain rules and broad lines, but it also gives a broad measure of flexibility within these. A Muslim ruler must abide by these fundamental rules and work within those broad lines, but he continues to exercise a good measure of authority and he must be obeyed. When a ruler issues an order that aims to serve the interests of the community and this order does not involve any disobedience to God on the part of the ruler or the ruled, he must be obeyed. Let us take a simple example. The authorities issue a regulation limiting driving speed on roads in order to reduce the risk of accidents. Although this order restricts people’s freedom, it must be obeyed. Indeed, if you drive at 100 kilometers an hour where the speed limit is 70, you are not only in breach of the relevant regulations; you are also committing a religious violation. When the government sets a system of fair taxes to look after the services it must provide to the community, every individual should pay their taxes. To evade payment may land a certain person in prison according to the law of the land, but he also incurs a violation of religious rules. Only when a ruler, or a person in authority gives an order that violates divine orders he can be disobeyed.
At home, the situation is different. Authority is coupled with duty, compassion, care and responsibility. Thus, children have a duty to comply with their parents’ instructions, but parents also have a much more important duty of looking properly after their children and ensuring their good upbringing. Moreover, the relation between parent and child changes as the child grows up or the parent becomes elderly. When Islam requires young children to obey their parents, it also requires parents to be loving, caring and compassionate. Islam also requires an adult son or daughter to be kind and dutiful to their parents, but it wants parents to be mindful that their children have grown up and cannot be dictated to in matters of personal preference. Suppose someone’s parents require him to divorce his wife, it is wrong to imagine that he must comply with their demand without question. In fact it is his duty to look at the case and determine whether his wife has done something to justify her being divorced. Even then, he should consider whether it is wise and fair to all concerned to divorce her. Take the case of someone who is seeking to get married; his mother tells him that she prefers a particular young woman for him, but he is more inclined to a different one whom his mother dislikes. There is no question of obedience here. It is a case of suitability and personal preference. If he chooses the one his mother does not like, he has not violated his duty to his parents. However, he should proceed about the matter in a kindly and gentle way, reassuring his mother.
When it comes to man and wife, the question is totally different. According to the local culture in some Muslim communities, a woman must obey her husband in all situations. Our reader cites the example of a man ordering his wife to sit or stand. This is alien to Islamic thinking. The relation between man and wife is not one of master and slave. It is a relation between equals. The Prophet says: “Women are men’s full sister.” He also says: “The best of you are the best to their women, and I am the best of you to my wives.” In these two Hadiths, the Prophet establishes the principles of marital relations. The first is the total equality of men and women, and the second is that kindness is at the essence of how women should be treated. The Prophet also provides the practical example of how this should be done.
When we look at how the Prophet treated his wives, we are amazed not only at the kindness he was always ready to give, but at the care he took of them. Safiyyah, his wife, needed to ride a camel, but even when the camel was seated, it was too high for her. The Prophet bent his knee and she stepped over it to climb. How many Muslims today are prepared to do this to help their wives? If someone does that in front of other people, what would be people’s reaction? When Aishah was asked about the Prophet’s conduct at home, she said: “He used to mend his robe, repair his shoes and do whatever his family needed.”
Yet unfortunately many of us imagine that a woman must obey her husband blindly in whatever he says. This is certainly un-Islamic. Islam considers every woman an independent person, required to do all Islamic duties at the same level and in equal partnership with man. In family life they have different but complementary responsibilities, but equality is the rule of their relationship.
