When the time comes that tradition overcomes logic, the value of dowries paid to brides will increase to magical numbers, not to mention other very expensive wedding gifts, like gold carts, that have become new traditions in the Kingdom.
Every day, a new trend in wedding gifts seems to be created in some part of the Kingdom as if people are racing to create the next big thing in gifts the groom provides to the bride. These trends lead to financial burdens, which is just the thing a newly married couple needs in their formative years of matrimony.
We welcome the committees that work on facilitating marriage and helping new couples get hitched. We also supported the practice of group ceremonies that help reduce the cost of marriage. We also welcomed the positive public response on the call to enforce a dowry cap.
At the same time, I oppose the practice of bride’s fathers boasting about one-riyal dowries by faxing marriage contracts to the media in hopes of seeing their names in the paper. If people were honest about their beliefs that the dowry system is unnecessary, they wouldn’t promote their generous acts. The fact that the father of the bride brags about the one-riyal dowry illustrates that he believes he still owns his daughter.
Dowry is the right of a woman, a right to accept it, decline it, or reduce it to one riyal. No father of a bride has the inherent right to call for the terms of the dowry. Did the father who was recently reported in the media boasting about his daughter’s one-riyal dowry ask his daughter what she would have wanted? Or did the father supplant his daughter’s desire in the matter by asking on her behalf for a one-riyal dowry? Did the father provide his daughter the money she didn’t get from her groom?
Fathers and brothers should know that most (if not all) brides are happy when they get dowry money, even if they don’t need it. Why should the bride be deprived of this pleasure?
There are women that do not ask for an exorbitant dowry, but that is their choice. To facilitate marriage does not mean to deprive women of their dowry rights. Islam preserves this right for women and we should make sure that her right is protected.
