JEDDAH, 4 May 2007 — In households where menfolk are often too busy to drive the women of the house around, having drivers is a necessity and also a luxury. However, many women, including young girls, are increasingly becoming sexually involved with their drivers.
Some people blame women for the problem, others blame drivers who are usually low-paid workers living single in the Kingdom for long periods at a time. However, the fault really lies with husbands and parents who put their wives and daughters in situations that are sure to lead to illicit sexual relationships.
According to Al-Nadwa newspaper, Maisa, 26, is one such young woman who became pregnant with the family driver. Maisa was living with her parents and says everything was going well until her father brought a new driver.
“My life suddenly changed when my father brought an Arab driver who would drive me to and from college. I fell in love with him. He was charming, handsome, gentle and smart,” she said, adding that the driver seduced her and she finally fell pregnant.
When her father found out she was pregnant he informed the authorities who arrested Maisa and the driver. “I delivered twins — a boy and a girl — in a women’s care center. Although the driver was willing to marry and look after me and the babies my family refused anything to do with him,” said Maisa.
She added that a year later her father took her from the shelter and arranged for her to live in a town 1,500 km away from her family. “The driver is still in prison. I feel bad for what I did. It was totally wrong but I wanted to marry the driver. My family just wouldn’t accept it. It was a bad thing that I did. I wish I could turn the clock back,” she said.
Meanwhile, Maisa’s mother was bitter at what her daughter had done. “She committed the worst crime. She betrayed our trust. We admit that we also share a part of the blame especially since we trusted her when she didn’t deserve to be trusted. However, we are never going to accept her and her children. They are illegitimate.”
A 28-year-old woman, who preferred to remain anonymous, says she fell in love with the “handsome” family driver. “I don’t know how it happened. I fell in love with him. I found in him the love and emotions that I had always needed and craved. It all started with him being thoughtful and kind and then it developed further,” she said.
“I was keen to go with him and at the time my husband and I were going through a bad patch. I hated sleeping with my husband. My husband caught me with the driver in the garden. It was so embarrassing and I hate myself for what I did. It was too late to be sorry,” she added.
Some drivers are also known to abuse young children. Umm Kholood says she initially found her 25-year-old Asian driver to be kind and good natured. “I trusted him. He would drive my eight-year-old daughter to and from school. One day I saw she was feeling tired and crying and throwing tantrums all day. I took her to a doctor who said it seems that the driver was sexually abusing her. We confronted the driver and it turned out to be true. Thank God we managed to find out early on. We then reported him to the police,” she said.
Sheikh Abdullah Al-Ali at the center of preaching and issuing of fatwas in Makkah, said cases of drivers and other domestic workers striking relationships with their employers are common.
“One day we saw an extremely well-dressed woman who was driving in the back of a car with her driver. On a main road she got out and sat at the front next to the driver,” he said. “The couple then drove into a public district and went into an old house. Commission members raided the home and arrested the couple who were found in a compromising situation. It turned out that the woman was married with children and that she was having an affair with the driver,” the sheikh said, adding that such cases happen frequently.
The sheikh said he does not blame the girls or the women. “I don’t blame these girls or women but instead blame their parents and husbands who don’t take care of them. They trust the drivers and don’t really understand the real dangers that exist.”
He added: “Foreign workers come from different cultures, traditions and ethics. Most of their concepts contradict Islamic principles and this causes problems in many families.”
The sheikh mentioned another story of how a father refused to accept as his own a child that his wife had given birth to. “He said the baby looked more like the couple’s Asian driver. Following a DNA test it was revealed that the driver was in fact the baby’s biological father. The dad was absolutely devastated,” the sheikh said.
According to social scientist Nura Abdullah Al-Hawshan, there is an increasing number of such women who are living in care centers. “There are many such women. I feel sorry for them and we try providing them with support in whichever way we can. There is a 17-year-old girl who is pregnant. She was involved in a relationship with her Asian driver.”
Al-Hawshan believes that the majority of girls who fall into such relationships are naive and very young. “They are not properly supervised by their parents. The parents trust them too much and this is what leads to these problems,” she said.
“It is time to reconsider whether it would be a good idea to allow women to drive in the Kingdom and stop the need for drivers. People are looking at this issue from a narrow perspective,” said Al-Hawshan, adding that women can drive with their veils as is the case with many Muslim women in the West.
