It is well-known that the Prophet (peace be upon him) married several women after emigrating to Madinah. At the time of his emigration, his only wife was Lady Sawdah who was a mature woman, probably not much younger than him, which means that she was close to 50, and she was married to someone else before him. After settling in Madinah, the Prophet had a new role as the head of the first Islamic state, which was threatened by enemies on several fronts. Moreover, the Prophet was remolding the tribal Arabian society into a coherent unit. Under the tribal system, loyalty was based on blood relation, with blind allegiance to one’s closest kindred. Thus, a man and his sons felt themselves to be the basic unit in their clan, which included their paternal cousins. This small clan, consisting of several brothers and all their sons, was part of a broader clan that included their paternal uncles and all their offspring. We know, for example, that the Prophet was Muhammad ibn Abdullah ibn Abd Al-Muttalib ibn Hashim ibn Abd Manaf. This means that the smallest clan in this line was the Abd Al-Muttalib which included the Prophet’s immediate uncles and their children and grandchildren. Yet it was too small to count. Therefore, reference is always made to the next level, which is the Hashim clan, or even the Abd Manaf clan. They were part of the Quraysh tribe. Loyalty was always much stronger with the smaller unit, but allegiance to the broader one was never to be discounted. Hence the adage that still survives: “I side with my brother against my cousin, but I side with my cousin against any stranger.”
It was this tribal bondage that the Prophet sought to break in order to mold a closely knit society where loyalty is to faith, and the basic tie that binds people together is their brotherhood in Islam. Several of the Prophet’s marriages served this very purpose, particularly the ones with women from tribes or communities that were at war with the Muslim community. These were his marriages with Juwayriyyah bint Al-Harith, and Safiyyah bint Huyayy. Al-Harith was the chief of the Al-Mustalaq tribe who plotted to launch an attack on Madinah, while Huyayy was the one Jew who was most actively hostile to Islam, raising armies to fight the Muslim community with the declared aim of wiping out Islam and Muslims. When we consider the Prophet’s marriages after he had settled in Madinah, we will not fail to conclude that they all had definite purposes: some political, some legislative and others social.
As we study the Prophet’s character, an important aspect of our study must inevitably deal with the Prophet’s treatment of his wives and their relations with him and with each other. Jealousy is natural among women, particularly when they vie for a top spot or a coveted position. What can be more coveted than to be the one loved best by Muhammad, God’s messenger?
It is well known that the Prophet loved Lady Ayesha more than he loved his other wives. He stated that on more than one occasion. Any Muslim man who is married to more than one wife is required to treat them in absolute fairness. Yet this cannot apply to love, because feelings are impossible to control. Strongmen can control the effects of feelings of love and hate, but they cannot control the feeling itself. Hence, we find the Prophet’s wives reflecting feelings of jealousy on occasions. Often such jealousy reflects one’s own feelings of love.
Ayesha reports: “I never felt stronger jealousy than toward Khadeejah, who died three years before the Prophet married me. I was jealous because he frequently mentioned her. God ordered him to give her the happy news that she has a home in heaven. He would even slaughter a sheep and send it as a gift to her friends.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Ibn Majah.)
It is well known that Lady Khadeejah was the Prophet’s first wife. He lived with her 25 years, 15 of which before his prophethood, without marrying anyone else, although polygamy was common practice in Arabian society where every man aspired to have a large family. Yet Khadeejah was the only one of the Prophet’s 11 wives to give him any children, until Marya gave him his last son, Ibraheem, who died in infancy.
What the Hadith tells us is that the Prophet’s relation with Khadeejah was so strong that Ayesha felt jealous of her, even though Khadeejah died three years before Ayesha’s marriage. How can one feel jealous of someone who is dead? Such jealousy was motivated by the place Khadeejah continued to occupy in the Prophet’s life throughout the 13 years he lived after she had died. Ayesha describes this to us: he mentioned her often enough to make her presence felt by his later wives, and he maintained ties with her friends. He would slaughter a sheep and send the meat as a gift to them. What faithfulness, and what loyalty to the memory of a dearly loved one!
What was the secret of this unparalleled loyalty? We can cite so many aspects, but perhaps what counted most was that Khadeejah provided him with the sort of comfort and support he needed most. He would go out in the morning, speaking to people, calling on them to believe in God and explaining to them that unless they believed in Him, their life would remain miserable, but he would spend the whole day in such an effort, receiving only negative responses. Some people would ridicule him while others would be rude and insulting. When he went home, however, he was certain of meeting the one who would comfort and encourage him, showing him an inexhaustible fountain of love and care. She ensured that he lacked nothing in his home life. Hence, the happy news given to her: a promise by God, conveyed by the angel Gabriel and delivered to her by Muhammad (peace be upon him), God’s messenger.
Are we surprised that Ayesha felt jealous of her? How could one aspire to such a position? Yet Ayesha herself was given to him by God. She reports: “The Prophet said to me: I saw you in my dream, with the angel bringing you to me, covered with material of the best silk, and he said to me, ‘This is your wife’. I took the cover off your face to find you. I said: ‘If this is from God, He will make it come to pass.’” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
We cannot put a date to this report, but it is clear that it was after Khadeejah’s death and before the betrothal of Ayesha. This means that it was before a second marriage was suggested to the Prophet. It was Khawlah bint Hakeem who suggested to him that he should marry again, sometime after Khadeejah had died. When he asked her whom she had in mind, she mentioned Sawdah and Ayesha. The Prophet asked her to go and propose to both on his behalf. So, this dream must have taken place before Khawlah made her suggestion.
