Nothing sells a book better than a story of unhappy childhood. And the reason is that most families have an unwritten agreement not to talk about private matters of the home with outsiders.
Children need more love than anything and when they are not given the love and approval they need, they tend to blame themselves. They feel that they are not good enough. This need for love that children have can often lead adolescents to over eat, confusing food for love. If they receive insufficient love as a child they can sometimes develop eating disorders such as over eating, bingeing, and purging. A small child will often blame itself for not receiving the love that it needs, thinking that they are unworthy. This can lead to self-loathing and in turn, lead them to turn against their body and start to over-eat.
It is very difficult to turn the clock back and sort out childhood problems but you can move towards a solution. When you were a child you deserved unconditional love and you were not to blame for things that happened that were beyond your control. The child is never to blame — you were just doing the best you could. But accept that in order to move on you need to love yourself and take care of yourself, not for your husband or for your children, but for yourself. Accept that you may be eating for emotional comfort.
If you are overweight, accept that you are consuming more fuel than your body needs, and your next step is to look at the reason why.
Recipe of the week
Chicken in Tomato, Black Pepper and Coriander Sauce
(Serves 4)
Ingredients
4 chicken leg or thigh quarters, skinned
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1-1/4 tsp. salt or to taste
2.5 cm cube of root ginger, roughly chopped
4-5 large garlic cloves, roughly chopped
2 medium onions, roughly chopped
4 tbsp. sunflower or vegetable oil
5 cm piece of cinnamon stick, halved
4 green cardamom pods, bruised
4 cloves
1 tsp. paprika or mild chilli powder
1/2 tsp. ground turmeric
1 tbsp. ground coriander
250g undrained chopped canned tomatoes
1 tbsp. black peppercorns, coarsely crushed
225 ml lukewarm water
Method
Cut each chicken quarter into 3 pieces. If you are using leg quarters, separate leg from thigh and cut the thigh into two. Rub the lemon juice and salt to the chicken and set aside. Meanwhile, puree the ginger, garlic, and onion in a food processor. Heat the oil in a large pan over medium heat and add the cinnamon, cardamom, and cloves. Allow to sizzle gently until cardamom pods have plumped up and add the pureed ingredients. Stir and fry over medium-high heat for 5-6 minutes when the onion juices will begin to evaporate. Reduce the heat to low and continue to fry for 3-4 minutes.
Add the paprika or chilli powder, turmeric, coriander and tomatoes. Cook over medium heat for 5-6 minutes stirring regularly. Add the pepper, chicken, and cook over high heat until chicken is opaque. Add the water, cover, and simmer for 25 minutes. Remove the lid and cook over medium heat for 6-8 minutes until the sauce is reduced. The sauce should resemble a thick paste. Remove from the heat and serve.
Ask Alva
Please give me some advice for my long-time burden. I have warts around my neck. Also I have fair skin but my under arm and my legs (near my bikini area) are dark coloured. I have tried some whitening lotion, whitening cream and whitening soap but without any effect. Please advise what kind of medicine or cream I am going to use as I cannot afford to go abroad to do the bleaching treatment to have whiter skin like Michael Jackson. I feel shy to use my swimsuit. Sharon
Your problem with warts isn’t an easy problem to deal with but you may find that applying Echinacea cream will help and it should be available from a herbal shop. You might like to try this skin lightening formula — To one tablespoon of cucumber juice stir in a few drops of limejuice and a dash of turmeric powder. Apply on face and neck and wash off after half an hour. It makes an excellent lightener for all types of skins.
