All
three were part of the Leadership for Training program launched by United
Nations Development Program (UNDP), in partnership with Positive Women Network.
"I am HIV+ for the last 8
years. I came to know of my status in 2002 when my husband fell sick. I had not
known that he was HIV+. Even when he told me, I did not take it very seriously
as I had no knowledge about this disease and took it as a common ailment like
TB or malaria. But my husband knew the gravity of the situation. Twice we both
tried to commit suicide, but then I decided to take life as it came. My husband
died in 2002. After that I became seriously ill and tested positive. Then, my
in laws, holding me responsible for their son's death, threw me out of the
house. My parents supported me and as my father was in the police department,
he filed a case and after fighting for three years I got my share of my
husband's property. I have no children, and I live with my parents and my
brother. I started working at the district level INP (Indian Network of
Positive People) office. I realized that although this forum was doing good
work, yet somehow its main concentration was on men, and the issues of positive
women and children were side tracked. So I wished to join a separate forum for
women. Then I came in contact with PWN+. After that there has been no looking
back. When I became a widow, I was educated till class 9 only. But today I am
pursuing my Bachelor's degree in Social Work. I believe in 'never say die'. One
should never accept defeat, no matter what life has in store. Knowledge and
education are very essential, and all women should realize this and pursue
their studies. Only then will we be able to empower ourselves and others."
“I am president of Tamil Nadu PWN+, and have been
working for HIV positive women and children for the last 7 years. I am educated
only till class 12. I got married in November 1998. Then in 1999 my husband
became very sick. At that time very few places had facilities for testing of
HIV/AIDS. Despite frequent hospitalization, he was diagnosed positive after a
long time. Then I also tested positive. I did not know the gravity of this
illness at that time. Then my husband died. As I did not have any child, my in
laws called me an empty barren woman and blamed me for their son's death. I was
subjected to a lot of abusive violence, which really scared me. I was a widow
with no family and no income. There was no one to help me. Then I read about
this organization (PWN+) in a magazine. I went to their office in Chennai.
There I met other women with similar, perhaps bigger, problems. This gave me
some solace that I was not alone. This restored my self-confidence to some
extent, and encouraged me to fight my battle. I have got no share in my
husband's property. In villages it is generally a panchayat of 4 or 5 people
who decide such cases, and they do not decide in favor of women. The women are
simply asked to leave their in-laws' house and go. I have not filed a case in
the court due to lack of proper guidance, and lack of my faith in the legal
system. I live alone, though my mother's family supports me. I earn my living
working for PWN+ which gives me enough to sustain myself. This training program
(L4R) has made a positive difference in my life and I feel better than before.
But proper funding is not there. There are a lot of things on paper, but very
little implementation. I believe that education is very important and so is
financial independence. All women should share their knowledge and experiences
with others in the family and in the community and thus support each other.”
“I am educated till class 10. I got married in 1999 to a truck driver
who had HIV/AIDS. I came to know of his status only in 2004 when he became very
sick and was hospitalised. At that time I was 6 months pregnant with my second
child. I already had a daughter who was born in 2002. I shared my fears with my
doctor and expressed the desire to get tested. Thus my positive status was
confirmed in 2004. My in laws accused me of having given the disease to their
son, although in reality it was the other way round. My husband died in 2006,
but even before that I had been turned out of his house in 2005 and sent to my
parents' house. Despite having a daughter, I got no share in his property. My
parents supported me and I was put on treatment. At that time there was intense
stigma attached to the disease. Even doctors and nurses were not much aware of
it and I was subject to lot of discrimination in the hospital. But my doctor
introduced me to the network of people living with HIV (PLHIV). I was in need
of work to support myself, and the Network needed people to work for it, as it
had recently started in UP. So it was a sort of mutual necessity, and this
opportunity became a turning point in my life. I started working as a
counsellor there, and later became a Board member of UPNP+ (Uttar Pradesh
Network for People living with HIV), and worked for it till 2008. But I was
becoming increasingly conscious of the fact that not much was being done
specifically for women by this forum. Positive women were still facing the same
problems, which I had faced in 2004. I wanted to do something more concrete, as
by now I had become more knowledgeable and aware of the issues and wished to
help other similarly placed women. I managed to contact Kousalya, President
PWN+ and with her help formed UPPWN+ in 2009. That year I also attended the
national level AGM of PWN (I am on their Board also).
My life has definitely changed because of my own determination.
I dared to break the shackles of a conservative family where women
traditionally remain in ‘purdah’ and are not allowed to step out of the house.
This is a real achievement. But many more lives have to be transformed. Our
biggest problem is not only social ostracism, but also denial of property
rights. We do not have any legal adviser. There has to be some mechanism for
quick redressal of these cases in favor of the women to give them their
rightful share in property while they are still alive. I want to see each woman
to be empowered and to become a leader in her own special way. For this, it is
important for each girl to be educated and self-sufficient. The change has to
come from within. We have to be the change.”
The common thread that runs through these real life stories
(and there are many more to be documented) is that HIV+ wo- laws. A low
educational status adds to their woes. Yet, given a small impetus they can
achieve wonders and transform lives by becoming community leaders. This is
perhaps what PWN+, started in 1998, is trying to achieve. The network is
present in 13 states covering 55 districts with a total membership of 11,000
members. As responsible citizens, let all of us do our bit to ensure
that all women and children living and affected with HIV are empowered to live
a life of dignity and equality, free from stigma and discrimination.
— Shobha Shukla is the editor of Citizen News Service (CNS).
She can be reached at: [email protected], website:
http://www.citizen-news.org)
