JEDDAH is now sporting new and unfamiliar posters in its streets. Along with shopping advertisements and ones hailing the newest fads in plastic surgery and hair growth products, we have candidates. With all due respect, they look funny if not outright silly.
To begin with, they look mighty uncomfortable in the formal attire they don for the passport photo they have taken. Some of them squint, others attempt a smile, but most if not all, tell you that they do not know what they are doing or what they are about to do. They are frozen in postures that make the ancient carvings of Egypt more alive and less rigid.
They exude self-importance. Facial hair has been polished black to the point that it shines. The gold rims on their bisht (cloaks) are an inch wider than the norm to signify importance and wealth. Their slogans are funny and meaningless, i.e. “Together for a better future,” “Vote for me” (without telling us why), “I am the man,” etc. Pray tell, what is the better future we are looking for when we elect someone to the municipal council? Shouldn’t the slogan be: Better sewer system for your neighborhood? Better still, shouldn’t one of them at least boast about reducing potholes to half the size of one’s car instead of the whole car?
I am sure most of these candidates hardly read. But if they read this, they will fume. They would think I am simply poking fun at them. That I am doing, but for a reason. The reason is that the democratic process is all about fun, satire, humanity, and qualifications. The last being the least important even in the ancient democracy of the UK. This is one supreme reason why dictators don’t like elections since it exposes them to ridicule and satire. No one has suffered this more than George Bush and yet he made it to the highest office on earth.
We are yet tender at this game. Our egos are massive and have not been subjected to cross-examination. All that our Ph.D. holders knew before going into their exams was that they had made it. So academic qualifications do not indicate a vigorous exercise of debate at which we learn to listen and be trashed.
I personally would have voted for anyone who wore a bandana and held a shovel and posted that picture as proof of his virility in democratic labor. He might not be what he bills himself as, but at least he has a sense of humor, he understands what this election means, and can be talked to. At this stage, we do not dare to hope for more from our sublime candidates.
As it is, we have pictures of people who would sell you a piece of land swallowed up by the latest tsunami. They look the part in those horrid pictures gracing our streets and hanging from our lampposts.
