IN an English conversation class I teach, the topic we were talking about was “Describe a person you know” — both physical appearance and character. One of my students volunteered to describe her husband. As to physical appearance, she said, “He is handsome, he has beautiful hair and a lovely smile.” As to character, she said, “He never speaks, he is always angry.” The topic of anger always reminds me of a story about someone’s personal experience. They recounted, “I was driving to work and I was in a very bad mood. I was angry even at the car in front of me. I aggressively decided to overtake it and, while doing it, I saw the other driver smile at me and kindly wave his hand. I was taken aback and a thought suddenly dawned on me, “That person is living in a world that is totally different from mine. I realized that he was living “in peace,” while I was creating my own personal hell with my attitude”
I consider this to be a discovery of paramount importance. The problem with most unhappy people is that they don’t realize how unhappy they are. They believe that the state of mind they are usually in is the only one available to them, the only one they can experience. Therefore they drag along their whole life being mostly angry, feeling a victim, complaining all the time about everyone and everything. What a sad kind of life they allow themselves to live!
Anger is certainly among the most negative feelings anyone can have and expressing it in the wrong way is one of the truly dangerous behaviors that can literally destroy relationships and, most of all, inner peace.
An interesting reflection, of which most seem to be unaware, is the fact that anger mainly hurts the person who is experiencing it. It may seem that the “recipient” is the only victim, but it is not so. In fact, when the “aggressor” is far away, the “victim” is okay with their own lives. But the person who shelters anger in his or her heart, lives in a state of continuous turmoil. They are never serene, they keep on remembering, and therefore “re-living,” the situation that upset them. In so doing, their bodies and their minds don’t relax and a never-ending chemical storm takes place in their organs and in their minds.
Just make this simple observation. Let’s imagine that you and a friend are in a conversation and you are discussing a certain subject. Your opinions differ. Now, if you are right and he is wrong, you don’t need to get upset, because he has the right to his own opinion and does not necessarily have to agree with you. You “know” you are right and this should be enough for you. If, on the other hand, you are wrong (and you are wise enough to admit it, at least to yourself) you have neither the right nor the ground to get angry. If you do, you are actually upset at yourself for being wrong. Do you believe this attitude to be the correct one? Isn’t it rather childish and naive to expect yourself to be right all the time?
Besides, many seem not to be aware of the actual danger that anger causes to their health. As I said above, it has been scientifically proven that negative feelings cause great chemical changes in the human body. If these “temporary” changes, that happen when the feeling is experienced, keep repeating themselves on a regular basis, as in the case of the “angry person,” such changes become established in the body and give rise to a new situation (disease).
Remember the well-known story of the simple little drop of water that keeps dripping in a cave and ends up building stalactites and stalagmites, or even digging deep holes, thus creating a totally new, different environment? The same happens in your body if you keep nursing anger, resentment or hate in your inner self. No wonder that one day a person who has been angry most of his (or her) life suddenly discovers to be affected by a serious illness. They will ask, “Why? How could this have happened to me?” A great contributor to the manifestation of such a situation can most likely have been the negative mental pattern they have allowed to establish itself. It has slowly worked and, like the drop in the cave, has operated great — unfortunately dangerous — changes in their bodies.
-
E-mail: [email protected]
Blog: recreateyourlifetoday.blogspot.com
