The other day I happened to be looking at a baby in his mother’s arms. He was small, pretty and innocent. He was smiling and seemed utterly satisfied and happy. He had all he needed. He felt protected, secure. He was “fulfilled” because all his needs were provided for. How this baby’s future will be? I wondered. How long will he go on feeling the same contentment? Soon he’ll become a toddler ... and tantrums will start — “I want it, now!” The first hint of rebellion and expectations is already there, expressed quite loudly. Next stage: Teenage. “You don’t tell me what to do!” Here, the rebellion is openly verbalized. As a youngster, while still unconsciously feeling protected, he will need not only to show his own personality, but also to underline his will to have it accepted and respected. Such personality is still shaping up but he doesn’t see it as “work in progress.” The rebellious nature of a human being is at its peak. He does not want to be given advice, lest to be told what to do.
Then, he will learn to make choices. If he chooses the path of selfishness, he’ll try to get as much as possible, all for himself. He might follow the mental pattern that makes him think: “I am the best. I deserve it all. Who cares about others?” Here, unfortunately, the hateful, overpowering dictator (or harpy, in the case of a woman) is created. We have an individual who is selfish and overbearing, who does not accept any criticism and believes to be always right. Not only that. He also believes he is entitled to impose his will on others. For him, only the “I” exists. Do you know any such despotic figures?
On the other hand, he may turn out to be the opposite, and become an altruist. He will say to others: “I care for you, you can talk to me any time, I shall listen” or “If you need any help, I’m here for you.”
Here we have a good example of a selfless human being, a caring soul who will be appreciated, admired and loved by all who come in contact with him.
Another possible choice of life is deciding to be a victim. Do I hear you say, “Ridiculous. No one wants or chooses, to be a victim”? Unfortunately it happens quite often. It’s the individual who is living out the “poor me, poor me” mental pattern. He feels that others are there just to vex him, to exploit him, to belittle him. And, mind you, this might even be true because his relevant attitude will attract bullies all along.
Then we have the type who surrenders to an unconscious inferiority complex. “What should I do? Advise me, you know better.” Here is the meek follower speaking. Such a person is usually incapable of making a decision by himself, he needs the constant approval of others, is always insecure and doubtful.”
The leader forcefully asserts: “Come with me, I’ll guide you because I know it all.” This attitude might be useful at times. Unfortunately, it’s the “I know it all” part that spoils the positive side. We cannot deny that the way mankind is organized there are (and probably there must be) leaders and followers. Even in the animal world we have the ram that walks ahead of the flock. As in everything, it’s only the “excess” that should be avoided.
In conclusion, the baby might either become kind or aggressive, quiet or loud, friendly or withdrawn, shy or outspoken, timid or assertive. I wish him to choose to walk on the best path, the most rewarding “for him.” There is no “one” path that can suit every person. Like a pair of shoes or a jacket, each must find the right size. Whoever tries to wear the wrong one, will suffer from feet ache or will have a bad shoulder fitting!
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Creative Thinking: Choose right size
