Animals don’t seem to experience negative feelings. They follow their nature, they attack when they feel threatened, carnivorous ones kill (only) when they need to eat, they use the environment to find safety. They are who they are and thus fulfill their reason for being on this Earth. Unfortunately, though, it seems that many human beings do not follow a similar path. They allow their “nature” to be changed by outside conditioning and to be consequently brought to behave in a way that would not be their “natural” choice. They “kill” for reasons other than the need (not to eat but) to survive. They destroy the environment for selfish purposes. It is only logical that such “unnatural” behavior creates negative feelings. The consequences of this is unhappiness, i.e. a widespread feeling of uneasiness, of fear, of un-fulfillment, which necessarily encourages one to continue his search for satisfaction in any possible, sometimes even unethical way. Human beings appear to live in a perpetual state of incertitude, and they keep on experiencing negative feelings.
What would happen if you could rid yourself of your negative emotions? What negative emotions? One might be guilt. There is surely something you feel guilty about. It might be anything, a big or a small mistake: Maybe you did someone wrong, you hurt someone, in one occasion you were dishonest, you lied … Whatever it is, it’s something that haunts you, no matter how hard you try to forget or find a justification. The nagging feeling is always there and prevents you from being totally serene. You wish you could change the past but you know that it is not possible. Could you make amends? Yes, you could, but it’s not a secure remedy. The person you have wronged may not be available any more, fixing the problem might by now be useless, or you still don’t have the courage to come forward … The feeling is still there and there is nothing you can do about it. As hard as it sounds, the only possible solution is to “forgive yourself.” Acknowledge the wrong you did, accept full responsibility and then … accept your weakness, realize that you are as powerless as everybody else toward temptation and then … grant yourself the forgiveness that you offer a child who misbehaved.
If “you” are the one who was hurt, you are probably still holding a grudge, feeling hatred and resentment. These are very strong feelings and they are really hard to get rid of. It takes time and a lot of will power. What you could do to start “cleansing” your heart is trying to put yourself in your offender’s shoes. Ask: “Why did he (or she) do this to me? What were his motivations? How did I behave in relation to the fact? Might I have had a certain amount of responsibility in what happened? Could I have reacted to the provocation in a different way? Shouldn’t the hurt be less by now? Why do I keep thinking about it? Do I like nursing the grudge?” Wow! Here are some questions! Can you answer them honestly? Can you refrain from finding excuses? Can you give up to need to show that the others are always wrong? Can you do that for just once?
Another un-natural feeling you might experience could be “jealousy.” If you harbor jealousy or envy in your hearts, ask yourself why it is so. It might be that you are blaming others for being who they are, for having what they have, as if it weren’t their right, as if they were taking something away from you. But they are not. They are following their path, achieving certain goals and creating their own lives. Why should you feel as if they, or fate, or God, had wronged “you”? You are “you,” and they are “they.” Let’s not mix things up. Everyone is responsible for his or her own thoughts, deeds, achievements and failures. What would happen if you were able to answer all these questions being totally true to yourself, without trying to find excuses or justifications? Easy! You would find peace.
Creative Thinking: Unnatural feelings
