The holy month of Ramadan has been well defined by scholars, and many wise authoritative words have been written and spoken about its spiritual meaning. On my part, I can simply recall a memory of my past that I reckon to be relevant and appropriate to express my thoughts on the subject.
I remember a story my dad told me when I was a little girl. It has had a great impact on my life and I have never forgotten it. Here it is:
Once upon a time a man planted a young tree and then tied it to a sturdy stick. “Why do you do that?” asked his young son. “Wouldn’t it be better to leave the tree free to grow as it pleases?” “When a tree starts to grow, the father answered, it needs support as well as restraint, otherwise it will grow up crooked.” I like this simple story. I also wonder if the boy realized what his father meant to teach him, if he could see that the same principle should be applied to his own life. As to me, when I fully understood its meaning and wisdom, I found it very useful.
Each human being needs some restrictions, some rules to abide by, precise guidelines to give them advice and lead them onto the right path. Each of us, no matter how “good” we believe we are, needs to be constantly reminded of the direction to follow in order not to lose sight of what is honest, helpful, fruitful etc. Society in general, specific people, circumstances, the environment you live in might, every now and then, lure you into doing something that you will later regret. Hence, the need to always be alert and keep your eyes open, while accepting the “restraints” as part of life. Struggle and suffering belong to this human world of ours and no one is exempt from them. Acceptance is the first thing needed to make sense of what happens and find the strength to overcome any setbacks.
It happens that things are difficult, something is required of you that you don’t like doing, you might have to give up some possessions, the need might arise for you to spend part of your time taking care of someone else’s demands, or you might be asked to renounce what you were wishing for.
Accepting what you do not like, but that your conscience tells you to be right, is a great endeavor and, if you do it in the right way, you will eventually realize how fruitful it has been for your spiritual progress. Try, also, to be more patient with the people you have to deal with. Smile a little more often and use an extra kind word (please, thank you…) while speaking to others.
An experience that no one is exempt from is “suffering.” Sometimes you can avoid it, other times you cannot. If you allow yourself to “experience” the pain (either physical, psychological or spiritual) instead of resisting or hating it, you will find it easier to deal with it. “Experiencing” (allowing yourself to feel) grief or affliction, makes you “know” it. And with knowledge comes acceptance.
Appreciation is another great virtue that should be practiced all the time. If you recognize the good that surrounds you, if you succeed in seeing the positive qualities in other people, if you can feel joy for what you have been granted, you will learn to enjoy life more. Stop being “stiff” and self-centered. Look around, relax and give the world some credit. I love what George Bernard Shaw said about our self-importance. I don’t recall the exact quote, but the meaning was, “Stop believing that the world revolves around the little blob of flesh that is you”. In fact… it does not!
In conclusion, let us all truly endeavor to give up being self-centered, impatient, unkind, tough, conceited, judgmental…..(please, add to the list according to your personal experience). Let’s do it now, during the holy month of Ramadan, during the following months and years — actually… throughout our whole life.
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