I start with a straightforward question: Do you have regrets? If you do, what do you regret the most, so far, and what are you planning to achieve or change before the end of your life? I will try to provide you with some ideas to reflect upon, if you are willing to answer the previous questions.

In a newspaper article that I read some time ago, a nurse talks about how — while assisting patients in their last moments — she realized that these are the top five regrets they expressed:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life that others expected of me.

Please, take a little time to examine your own life and the way you are living it. If you care to check your usual behavior, it won’t be difficult for you to discover what your position is, in this respect. There are individuals who spend their lives accepting what others tell them to do, who are always worried about being judged, who don’t have the courage to express their opinions and stand up for their rights.

On the other hand, there are others who are not afraid, who dare to say what they think, who are aware of what is fair and what is unfair to them, take the risk and speak up for themselves. One of the saddest things, I believe, is to realize, at a certain point, that the life one has been living is not the one he/she really had wanted in the first place. Sometimes it’s possible to make a change, others it’s unfortunately too late.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked too hard.

How many men (nowadays women, too) allow themselves to be carried away by their job and end up missing out on a large amount of their family life? I am afraid their number is not minimal. Once you start getting excessively involved in your job and you accept too many responsibilities, you lose track of what other life’s priorities are. As a consequence, you may neglect to spend enough time with your spouse and/or children. You might not get enough sleep or rest. You might forget to take care of yourself, because — you say — you don’t have time to exercise, to watch what you eat or drink. You are always on the go…. For what?

Have you ever noticed the reckless driver who speeds up and overcomes you, only to be compelled to stop at the next traffic light? Why did he speed up? What did he achieve? What did he gain?

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Ask yourself how often you tell your dear ones that you love them, how often you hug them, how often you tell them that you feel hurt and invite them to find a solution to the misunderstanding, to look for a compromise.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

It is possible that your busy lifestyle makes you forget your friends. You have too many engagements and not enough time to spend with them.

Maybe you rather prefer to get together with business associates, with people who can be “useful” to you and to your career. You need to review your position, here.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

How “happy” are you? Do you have a precise idea of how much happiness is actually present in your life? Is there a lot? A little? Not enough? Not at all? Can you detect the possible causes of unhappiness? Can something be done about it?

If you are willing to examine what your position is in regard to each of the above five points, you might get a useful insight about what is happening in your own life, now. The saddest thing for a human being is to become aware, too late, just before exhaling their last breath, of all the opportunities missed to do good, to be content and appreciative, to enjoy all they had been given.

— Elsa Franco Al Ghaslan, a Saudi English instructor and published author (in Italy), is a long-time scholar of positive thinking.

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