Shobhaa De is one of India’s most celebrated and sensationalist celebrity writers and social columnists. A former model turned editor who founded a gamut of popular glamor-gossip magazines ‘Stardust’, ‘Society’ and ‘Celebrity’, she continues to leave tongues wagging with her wit-soaked and sarcasm-dripping newspaper columns on the glazmatazz of the Bollywood brouhaha that has often times caused waves of uproar and left her poor subjects squirming with itches.
I met her in Dubai for a brief banter during which I continually wondered one thing: Who permitted this lady off the fashion freight, ever? Needless to say, even at the age of 66, she still remains one of the most stylish, often controversy-flirting society-darlings of India’s hi-circles. Ladies and gents, Shobhaa De is a beautiful myth.
Afra: What is it like being one of the most fearlessly exciting ‘care-a-damn’ scribes on the Indian society circuit?
De: Life for me is very positive yet unpredictable … that kind of a package, which I love. And the sarcasm is very much a part of what I am and what I do. I just found my diaries which were written when I was 12 or 14, at which time I didn’t know I would take writing as a vocation, but the sarcasm comes from a lot of pointed observations which a writer needs to have, which is why you become a writer. The sarcasm is aimed generally at people with very pompous egos who are in the public domain, and they should really be able to handle it.
Afra: You quite succeeded in flipping the stereotype of the “dumb model”…
De: I think it’s a little unfair because girls are so smart. Even the international beauty pageant winners are so smart. I mean look at their careers and where they are. Look at Priyanka Chopra, Sushmita Sen, Aishwarya Rai, Lara Dutta — all smart! So the whole stereotype of models being dumb is a cultural stereotyping of the worst kind and the most outdated. But I don’t get angry anymore.
Afra: Think you broke a couple of other typecasts?
De: Oh several more. But you can’t set yourself a target and make plans to break it because that makes it very artificial, is manipulative and self-conscious. You live your life and then realize ‘oh-oh, I’ve broken something’. It should be something that’s a part of your personality … that you do … and you do it fearlessly and with honesty because it’s the right thing for you and without caring really too much. It takes I guess guts and courage to do it because I came from a very conservative family and to go ahead and even model was a step which was considered revolutionary. But you have to do what you have to do.
Afra: Perhaps the world would be a better place were it run by beauty-queens …
De: Certainly there would be better pictures on the front pages, and on television for sure! But one shouldn’t trivialize beauty. It’s a gift, because God creates you in a certain way and if you start denigrating it you are taking away from it. It’s something precious. It’s like admiring a beautiful flower, a bird or animal and you must respect that. Very rarely does one make a comment about a man’s physicality who is a writer. You know what, many women who have acquired great positions like Indira Gandhi, Hillary Clinton, Sonia Gandhi and Suu kyi have turned into honorary men by their conduct because the world associates leadership with a certain aggression. I think we are waiting for a world leader or a very inspiring woman figure, not necessarily a politician, who will be completely and totally in tune with the woman within her and not try and behave like a man. That defeats the whole purpose.
Afra: The problem lies in women still not being acknowledged as the first gender … would you say?
De: Yeah … what we want is equal respect, and that doesn’t come through subsidies and concessions, that doesn’t come through asking for special treatment, for which I’ve strenuously fought when it was the time to be fighting for it, and then I was branded anti-woman. But no, I was fiercely pro-woman which is why I said we don’t need this. We should prove ourselves on merit alone, and gender should not be an issue. If we are to get into Parliament we shouldn’t be getting there because there is a quota for us, we should be there because we deserve to be there. So what I suggested was a much longer process because we started off so much lower in terms of opportunities and education, and for us to reach that platform will take another two generations. But it’s worth waiting for that to happen rather than scrambling into a place because there is a seat going and it’s marked ‘woman’.
Afra: Between handling “mommy duties”…
De: Grandmother duties now (laughs).
Afra: Congratulations on that. Between all of that, what happens in life for Shobhaa?
De: But that is Shobhaa … All the chaotic elements of my life particularly my family who gives me all the richness I need, the support and the oxygen, the nurturing … they are my food, my breath, my everything. And I think “me time” is a very western concept. We being in Asia grew up as women far more giving without thinking about it. We don’t think about ‘oh I’m sacrificing so much’, ‘oh I’m giving so much,’ we just do it. Like my mother would not have understood the concept of “me time”, so we grew up like that. Of course there are times when I just flip out and I tell my family ‘just let me be for ten minutes’. Today I cannot think of enjoying myself on my own without having some family members with me. I try and travel with at least one family member because I hate the idea of traveling alone by myself and being in the hotel on my own. It’s so lonely.
Afra: You’ve often found yourself in the thick of national controversies for your biting remarks and opinions. Still enjoying a penchant for landing in the hot-seat?
De: Hmmm … so far the barometer has been kind. Like I say, if you don’t like the heat then stay out of the kitchen, but I’m really alright with the heat. But if you turn it up to a point where it gets physically aggressive then I’m not too sure. So far I’ve been able to take it and give it right back.
Afra: You’ve also taken to blogging. You think blogging is serious business or just an open-ended space for many wannabe writers?
De: For me blogging is my very personal and sacred space and I’m very possessive about my blog. It’s not a monetized blog. I decide how much I want to share on it, and my posts trigger young people from across the world. Those who cannot read my commentary on Times of India go to my blog and get it all in one place which for me is very rewarding. When it’s on the paper I know who it might go to physically but when it’s on the blog I do not know who it might reach and that’s the excitement.
Afra: Do you agree that journalism will have to change its face to service the vastly different reading habits of the ‘social-media’ generation?
De: I definitely think so.
Afra: But is that a call for distress for traditional writers?
De: No. I think just as we had all panicked when television and cable made a huge impact on lives and we thought that was the end of magazines, of print and the end of radio, I think the way new media will develop nobody can predict. But whether novels will actually be written on Twitter, I can’t say, it could happen.
Afra: Any novel ideas going in your head?
De: I’m very restless to go into fiction. I deprived myself fiction for thirteen years. I wrote non-fiction for more than a decade, so going back to fiction, the whole joy and thrill of creating characters and having people respond to those characters is unbeatable. As soon as I’m done with all the literature festivals as I don’t like my rhythm being interrupted, I will go back to writing … I write best during the monsoons in Mumbai.
Afra: Something about the rains…
De: We live by the sea so I watch the rains coming and receding and I like that. I love the rain. There’s something very life-giving about it. A lot of people hate the monsoon in Mumbai, but of course, I also talk from a somewhat privileged position because I don’t have to go out there and get wet, and line up at a bus-stop and get drenched. So, I can afford to enjoy the rains and I feel lucky too that I can say it.
Afra: Looking forward to the next monsoon novel.
De: Yeah I can’t wait to attack it.
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Shobhaa De: Redefining Indian woman
