Shopping brings happiness to people, especially women. Because it immediately makes one feel better it is called retail therapy.
Some women see shopping as a means to buy a new piece of clothing or a gift for a friend while others consider shopping to be an activity to kill time. It becomes a habit, which when cannot be controlled can turn into a financial disaster. Raneem Al-Ghamdi, a psychologist at a private clinic in Jeddah, says it is a disease and women should learn more about the problem before solving it.
“Spending and shopping activity is associated with a feeling of happiness and control; many shoppers feel guilty, which only drives them back to purchase more to be able to achieve the emotional high,” said Al-Ghamdi. “Experts say the idea that excessive spending can establish an addiction, believing that there has to be a psychoactive substance which produces symptoms such as physical tolerance and withdrawal for an activity to be a true addiction,” she added.
Al-Ghamdi believes in the theory that if you hide something, then it is wrong. “Many women hide their purchases because they don’t want their husbands to know fearing criticism,” she said. “Some have secret credit cards and at one point the husband would receive a call from the bank asking him about the late payment; this might even lead to a divorce,” she added.
The word ‘Sale’ in red attracts shopping addicts, forcing them to buy things they don’t even need, according to Al-Ghamdi. “Retailers are very smart as it is known that color is a subject of philosophical meditation. Selling is found easier when using the color red and products for sale sell faster and easier on red shelves,” she said. “Red is a color than can be spotted from far and this is why sale signs are always huge and painted in red. When you know the scheme, you must learn how to avoid the sale unless you really need the item,” she added.
There is a fine line between normal shopping, occasional splurges and shopping addiction. “When you’re addicted, shopping becomes the main way to relieve stress even though some cannot afford to and do not need to buy,” said Al-Ghamdi. “Occasional splurges usually happen on big sales or holiday occasions so it is totally fine every once in a while. Normal shopping happens when you drive to the mall only when you need to,” she added.
Friends of close family members should interfere when they notice certain signs of a shopaholic. “Compulsive shopping is a big deal. This means when you go to buy a pair of jeans and come back with two shirts, three pairs of shoes, scarfs and makeup,” said Al-Ghamdi. “You need to admit to the problem before trying to fix it. Think and rethink before purchasing anything because you don’t want to end up in debt and owning things you don’t even need,” she added.
Al-Ghamdi shared stories about some of her patients without mentioning their names.
K.L. is a Saudi banker who started shopping like crazy when she signed her job contract knowing she would be earning SR 15,000 a month. “She said it was easy for her to apply for credit cards. So her shopping started when she needed to buy something nice to wear in the office. She started buying more and more until she was maxed out of her three credit cards with more than SR 80,000 in debt in two months only,” Al-Ghamdi said. “She was in a lot of trouble and the bank gave her a notice and she couldn’t pay. This jeopardized her job, got her sued but finally she followed a plan with me and it worked” she added.
D.O. was married with three kids. The woman’s secret addiction to shopping led to a bad divorce when her husband was jailed due to her addiction. “She used to steal his credit cards and buy different items she did not need. She used to buy clothing, accessories, home products, shoes and stuff for her children,” she said. “She was convincing herself that her husband is stingy and she needed these things to survive. Before she knew it, the police came to her house to arrest the husband for late payments that he didn’t even know about. She now regrets this and is working on her addiction,” she added.
How to solve the problem
Shopaholics usually max out of their credit cards and make late payments, which results in them ending up in deep debt. “Always remember that you are stronger than a piece of plastic that controls your life. Limit your shopping to once or twice every three months unless it is extremely urgent,” said the psychologist. “Pay in cash so you would know how much you paid by counting the money you have. Always go to the ATM machine and the money you take is the only thing you spend and nothing more. If you can, leave your cards at home, you won’t regret it,” she added.
Write down a list of things that you really need. “If you need a pair of jeans and a blouse, write it down and don’t buy anything but that. When you do, cross it off your list and do it again next time.” “Do this especially when going to a supermarket for it will help to remember your essential food items and will keep you away from the beauty products that you don’t need,” she added.
Never go shopping alone. “Make sure to take someone who knows about your condition so they would tell you if it is necessary to buy the item you like,” said Al-Ghamdi. “Never ask the sales person for their opinion, they will love it anyways and this will convince you to buy the item so never trust them; they are looking to make a sale and earn a commission. So always remember they are not your friends, in fact they are your enemies,” she added.
Online shopping is a new thing that many indulge in nowadays. “It is always healthy to keep your time online limited because with more time you surf the web, you will have all the ads popping up in front of you that might tempt you to shop more,” said Al-Ghamdi. “Women might be tempted to buy an item because it costs less than what it costs in the mall but this does not change the fact that you are still buying things you might not need,” she added.
Shopping addicts must find other meaningful ways to direct stress and spend time. “Be creative and find something useful to do where you can get rid of your anger and stress. I usually recommend sports because physical activity can really help you clear your mind and lose negative energy,” said Al-Ghamdi. “Also be aware because addicts are easily tempted to either fall back into their old habit or they find a new addiction and this is even worse,” she added.
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