Producer turns wedding guru with “Shameless Proposals”

ISLAMABAD: They were okay with her diving deep into an arranged marriage with a man she was meeting for the very first time, but when Sarah, 31, expressed an interest in skydiving, relatives from either side of the families went livid.
“I met a guy who was into adventure sports, particularly skydiving. I told him that that’s something I love to do too, following which I was scolded by my aunt and his mother, in front of everyone, that those shouldn’t be the priorities of a wife,” Sarah said, narrating one among several of her cringe-worthy experiences.
Welcome to the world of arranged marriages — a process where a couple is introduced to each other by their parents or family members who often hire the services of matchmakers to find a suitable boy or girl. Once the initial meeting is out of the way, it is based on the feedback and consent of all parties involved that the couple can consider taking their relationship to the next level.
Or not.
In the case of Saher, 34, she was rejected without an explanation after a family who had come to “see” her left without an explanation at the end of the first meeting. The experience, she says, left her disturbed for days.
For Fatima, 24, it meant overcoming several hurdles before she could finally meet the guy she was arranged to marry. “It was a day-long process for this one guy. I was literally first introduced to his sister, her sister-in-law, their family friends and then his parents before I could meet him,” she said.
It is these very experiences and more which Pakistani producer Sadia Jabbar hopes to highlight through her web series “Shameless Proposals”, reasoning that a majority of women are forced to project a version of themselves to become the ideal candidate for people looking to get their sons or male relatives married to.
Jabbar, whose production house of the same name has previously produced the film ‘Balu Mahi’ and the critically-acclaimed drama serial ‘Mere Bewafa’, said that with her latest venture she hopes to tell new but relatable stories. As part of that initiative, ‘Shameless Proposals’ — directed by Hunny Haroon and co-produced by Tehseen Shaukat — will narrate seven unique stories focusing on arranged marriages and the hunt for the perfect “rishta” (relationship).
Explaining her decision to move away from television and onto a digital platform for the web series, Jabbar said it was a “fresh market to explore” and one which is “vastly different from television”. “We are not faced with as many barriers, we can talk about social issues, taboos, which TV channels — keeping in mind the audience you are catering to — will not allow. The digital world gives you a space for these stories,” she said.
She added that through the series, she hopes to tackle the scenarios young women and girls are subjected to and the harsher realities of forced marriages. She clarified, however, that the initiative was in no way an attempt at pandering to western ideals. “We are saying our culture and our society is in need of a redesign [in keeping] with today’s times. We are not trying to copy the west but [going forward] we want to hopefully direct an episode on how guys and girls can approach each other about marriage, and the parameters that are set around that situation: how to find your life partner how to find someone to share your emotions, your dreams, your everything,” she said.
She adds that every story in the web series was based on real-life experiences, even though they have been modified to present the topic in “an entertaining and endearing way for our audience”.
Jabbar says while a majority of women go through similar experiences, the issue is not unique to Pakistan. According to a study conducted by Statistic Brain, a research institute based in the US, more than 50 percent of the world’s marriages are arranged and continue to be a part of the societal structure in Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Japan, some parts of China, and other nations in greater Asia.
“The conversation about this [particular] subject, for example, takes place across Asia. Every other woman has experienced it, it’s not just Pakistan that has arranged marriages. The entire process of matchmaking has not changed much since it first began. I was telling a friend that “Windows 98 has been out of work for so long and MacBook came along, so why are we trying to run a MacBook on Windows 98 programming?” Jabbar said.
Maintaining the fact that the new age Pakistani girl or woman does not necessarily want to lead the same lives as her relatives have, Jabbar said through her series she wants to empower women to speak for themselves.
“As a woman and the creator of this series these topics are near and dear to me. I want them to be addressed so that young girls — who can’t say what they want to say or express themselves — see this platform, where yes it’s entertaining, but covers real-life issues, too. So that maybe, it could cause a stir and open some minds and hearts,” she said.
‘Shameless Proposals’ will release on YouTube in early December.

Producer turns wedding guru with “Shameless Proposals”