My friends complain that their husbands have changed after years of marriage. They don’t say the things they used to. I have no such problem. I’m proud to admit that there are three words which my husband never fails to say to me. I had never heard these words before I married and even after 16 years, he never fails to say it every single day, come rain or shine: What’s for dinner?
Cooking plays a major role in most marriages. There is a food chain in nature. In marital life too, nature affects the kitchen. If I am feeling not so good toward my husband, I cook rice and lentils together. He hates it because it gives him hyperacidity and he has to drink milk which he also heartily dislikes. (He usually can’t find his antacid because I don’t help him.) Men, you know, can never find what they are looking for without their wives. Christopher Columbus is a classic example; he went looking for India and found America. If my husband forgets my birthday, I create a stink. I cook fish. He hates a smelly house. When I am feeling kind, we eat at a restaurant because that’s a reason to celebrate.
Deciding what to cook is the hardest part of the job for us domestic engineers — also known by those with low IQs as housewives. Husbands are not very useful when it comes to giving opinions before the meal. Mine usually says, “Don’t ask me. That’s your department. Just don’t burn it!” His comments come after he has stuffed himself. “Yukky tasting, no salt. Were you watching a cricket match or talking on the phone all day? You should pay more attention when you’re cooking.” I confess that I can only cook when I am not paying attention.
My friend is a great help. She called one day, very excited. She had found something that would solve our what-to-cook problem forever! She had stumbled upon a gold mine. “I have found a cookbook which has to be good because it is old. That means it was written before the microwave was invented so I am sure, she knew what she was talking about! The writer could cook. And the book has spots and a torn cover which means it was surely used in the kitchen!” She raved on, as if she had solved a mystery before Sherlock Holmes.
The book “Sugar and Spice” was put together in 1970 by the Foreign Service Wives’ Association. It even has a message from the wife of Pakistan’s ex-President Yahya Khan. It has recipes from all over the world. You can cook Umm Ali, rice Omar El-Khayyam or, if you are in a bad mood, fish pudding for your husband! There is even an African recipe for meat cooked in peanut butter!