Q. Is it permissible for a father or a guardian to kiss his unmarried daughter on her cheeks to comfort her if she is in distress?
Z. Shakoor
A. There is no harm in a fatherly kiss, whether to express love or to comfort one’s daughter. The only restriction is that if the father should feel, as a result, any desire of the type that occurs between man and woman, then he should not kiss his daughter again.
As for a guardian, the matter depends on his relationship to the young woman. If he is unrelated to her, he is a stranger and he should not see her without her proper Islamic dress. If he is a brother or an uncle, the same conditions apply as those of her father.
A woman’s exclusive property
Q. Before his death, my father gave one house to my mother as her dowry, or mehr. She has two sons and three daughters. She has converted this house into six flats and wants to give a flat to each one of her five children and keep one for herself. She wishes to gift her flat as an endowment, or waqf after her death. My brothers are fighting with her on account of this division of her house saying that it is incorrect. Does my mother have a right to decide on how she handles this issue?
Mrs. Suhail
A. Your mother has done it all in the right way. Your brothers are absolutely wrong and they have no say in how their mother disposes of her property. To start with, the house is your mother’s own property and no one else has any claim to it as long as she is alive. This is due to the fact that a dowry is the wife’s own property. No one else has any claim to it.
Most probably your brothers are objecting to the division because they take the shares of inheritance into consideration, when a daughter receives one share compared to her brother who receives two shares.
But your mother is giving a gift now, in her lifetime. When parents give their children gifts, they should maintain absolute justice between them, giving a girl as much as they give a boy. I have often quoted the Hadith which mentions that a companion of the Prophet once came and said to him: “Messenger of God, I have given this son of mine a slave and I would like you to witness that.” The Prophet asked him whether he had given everyone of his children a similar gift. When the man answered in the negative, the Prophet refused to be a witness, saying: “Seek some other witness, for I do not witness what is unjust.” Needless to say, what is unjust is forbidden. The Prophet also says: “Fear God and maintain justice between your children.” It is clear from these Hadiths that there should be no discrimination between one’s children in a parent’s gifts.
This means that when your mother decided to give a flat to each one of her sons and daughters, she was absolutely right. Your brothers’ objections are invalid. They must stop such objections.
As for the endowment, it depends on whether the flat will be less than, or equal to, one-third of your mother’s property at the point of her death. If it is so, then there is no problem with making such a will. If it is more than one-third of her property, which is likely after she would have given away her five flats, then she should have the agreement of her children. She may obtain it now, but they will have to confirm it after her death.
Therefore, the way out for your mother is to make all this arrangement at the same time and have it all documented and registered with the authorities.
She could make an agreement with all her five children that in return for receiving their flats, they forfeit any claim to the remaining sixth flat and agree to its becoming an endowment.
