Q. Is it appropriate to pray God for something personal, such as to facilitate one’s marriage to a particular woman, or to cure a physical handicap? What if one’s prayers do not seem to be answered? Does this suggest that his prayers are unacceptable to God? What does it take to make sure that one’s prayers are answered?
A.B. Mirza, Jeddah
A. All that is required to ensure that our prayers are answered is that we should address them to God with sincerity, placing no one as intermediary between Him and us. When a prayer is addressed in such a way, with clear thoughts that God alone can grant our prayers and that He is able to accomplish His purpose, He will certainly answer our prayers. This is a promise to which He has committed Himself, saying in the Qur’an: “Your Lord has said, ‘Pray Me and I will answer you’.” (40: 60)
When we say that He will certainly answer our prayers, it does not follow that what we pray for will be immediately fulfilled. When God answers prayers, He may do one of three things: He either brings about what we prayed for without delay, as in the case of prayer for rain. Sometimes rain will fall even before those who pray for it have finished their prayers. Or He may give us something that He knows to be better for us than what we prayed for. Thus, you may pray to God to let you have a certain girl as a wife, but He knows that your temperaments are incompatible and that if you get married, you would not be happy together. He may give you a better wife, with whom it would be easier for you to be happy. Alternatively, God may decide to delay answering your prayer till the Day of Judgment, when He rewards you richly for it. The Prophet tells us that when we see what He gives us for our prayers which He retained with Him, we would wish that He had not answered any of our prayers in this life, but delayed them all to the Day of Judgment. So, whichever option He decides, we are certain to get either what we wish for or something better.
Sometimes, we pray for something we dearly wish, as in the case cited by the reader, i.e. the cure of a physical handicap. Suppose a lame person prays for a cure to his lameness. To start with, he should not merely pray to God to cure it and sit idle. He should look around for a means to cure it. If doctors assure him that there is no way that his lameness will be cured, then he must realize that God is able to cure it if He so wishes, by bringing about some element which is perhaps unknown to us. He should also realize that God may not wish to bring that about and that He has decided to credit us with the reward of such prayer. Therefore, we should remain reassured and we should thank Him for whatever He decides for us, because it is all to our benefit.
Undutiful to One’s Mother
Q. A man who is thought to be profoundly religious and spends much of his time in the mosque is advised by his relatives and friends that he must visit his elderly mother back home in India, because she is unwell and continuously asks him to visit her. He has not seen her for five years, but he is unwilling to go, because he says that his wife does not allow him to do so. There is no other reason to prevent him from travelling from his residence in the US, unless we say that the expense is a reason, but he can well afford that. Could you please comment stating whether it is his duty to visit his mother or this is left to his discretion?
(Name and address withheld)
A. To be dutiful to one’s own parents is one of the important duties God has assigned to us all. In fact, he often mentions dutifulness to parents next to believing in His oneness as the topmost duties of all people. From the Islamic perspective, there is no offense or crime that is considered more serious than being unkind to parents except to believe in false deities. This applies to all of us, young and old, men and women, boys and girls. To be kind to one’s parents is a duty that cannot be sidelined. It must not be interfered with by anyone.
Viewing the question on the basis of the information supplied, I can only say that it is the duty of this man to visit his mother and ensure that she is comfortable in her life. He might have an excuse if he cannot afford the journey, or if he must borrow money to buy his ticket, or if he has a sick child whom he needs to look after. Without having such a valid reason, he is in serious breach of his responsibility toward his mother if he continues to refuse to visit her. I understand that he is her only son and that she continuously sends him messages asking him for a visit. If he visits her and ensures that she is comfortable, he will be earning rich reward from God. If he does not, he puts himself in serious trouble.
I find the excuse given, i.e. that his wife does not let him travel, difficult to accept, unless there are valid reasons for it. He must look at the matter as a religious duty. Can he accept his wife’s objection to offering his prayer, paying his zakah or fasting in Ramadan? How can he accept such objection to being kind to his own mother?
Miscellaneous
Q.1. What is the basic concept of tawiz, which some sheikhs gives to wear for protection against evil events? One sheikh says that he keeps a jinnee under his control. He uses such jinnee to help other people, and asks for no money in return. Please comment. Could you also explain what is magic and how a jinnee is said to enter one’s body.
Q.2. If one misses a prayer and offers it after its time has lapsed, what intention should he make when he offers it. Also, is it necessary for a man to cover his hair when praying? Is it necessary to perform ablutions after one has taken a bath? Is it permissible to take a bath or a shower without any covering?
M.N. Alam, Jubail
A.1. Tawiz means a charm or a talisman one wears in order to protect oneself against evil spirit or wicked designs by others. The wearing of such articles is strictly forbidden in Islam. The Prophet says: “May God not grant the purpose of anyone who wears a charm or a talisman.” In another Hadith, he says: “Whoever wears a charm is guilty of associating partners with God, or shirk.” The sheikh who gives such charms to other people claiming that they protect them is a liar. Similarly, if he claims that he is in control of a jinnee, his claim is false. The jinn have nothing to do with our lives. As such, the claim that a jinnee possesses one’s body or one’s mind is false. The person concerned may have some mental illness, and he or she could benefit by seeing a psychiatrist.
Magic is a wicked practice by which some people seek to harm others, through influencing their minds or their faculties. It is all delusion and has no reality. It is forbidden to learn magic or practice it.
A.2. If one forgets to offer a prayer or sleeps through its time and does not realize that until it is time for the next prayer, one should offer the missed prayer immediately, and his intention should be the same as if he is praying it at the right time. The Prophet says: “If a person forgets a prayer or sleeps through its time, he should pray it once he is conscious of it, for that is its time.” If a prayer is missed deliberately or through negligence, it cannot be offered once its time has lapsed. The person concerned must repent and seek God’s forgiveness, resolving never to miss a prayer again.
It is neither obligatory nor recommended that a man should cover his head with a cap or any other covering when he prays.
If one is taking a bath or a shower for cleanliness or refreshment, he needs to perform his ablution, or wudhu, for his prayers. If the bath or shower is for a religious reason, such as to remove the state of ceremonial impurity or janabah, then the shower is deemed to include ablution, or wudhu. If one is taking a shower in a bathroom where he is seen by no one, there is no harm in being undressed. How else could he ensure to have a proper shower?
