JEDDAH: Many people report that neighbors nowadays, unlike those of bygone times, do not want to talk to each other and seem to have very little tolerance for each other.
Modern neighbors aren’t like the ones of yesteryears according to Azza Bunder who says her attitude toward her neighbors has changed due to past experiences. “When I was growing up, the neighbors were like one big family. When a family would move to a new home, the neighbors would send food and continue to do so over the next few days while they finished setting their home up,” said Bunder, adding that neighbors would also help with furniture.
“There were no formalities, just love, you could really feel that they cared. But now, don’t ask,” said Bunder.
She said she used to live in a building where her next-door neighbor was the building manager. “We were sometimes a little late in paying rent. This woman would visit me and whenever she saw that I had purchased something new, she’d tell her husband and the very next day he’d send us a notice telling us to pay the overdue rent,” she said.
“It’s not wrong to ask us to pay rent, but it’s wrong for the manager’s wife to come to my home pretending to be my friend and then spy on me,” she added.
Samia, 29, said she had a neighbor who burned a huge hole in her pocket. “My neighbor, a housewife and mother of four, always took things from my home — she would borrow things and then never return them. When I would go shopping she would ask me to buy something for her and then not pay me. This went on till I moved from that apartment,” she said.
Rana, 30, had problems with a nosy housewife. “She would come over every day and would inquire about everything. She would even ask questions about my relationship with my husband,” she said.
“She would, without permission, roam around my entire house, even enter the bedroom, which is a very private place. That woman had no sense of personal space,” she added.
Um Tamer had an even harsher experience with a neighbor. “The water constantly goes out in our building and so the flat occupants take turns collecting money to bring a water tanker. It was my turn once and so I rang our neighbor’s bell. The wife opened the door and told me that they didn’t want to pay. I tried persuading her when her husband began shouting from inside. He then came out, called me names and threatened to pull out his belt and beat me. Another neighbor, hearing the commotion, came out and stopped him. I then went to the police,” she said.
Islam places particular stress on people treating their neighbors with kindness and tolerance. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) had a Jewish neighbor who used to throw rubbish in his way every day. He would never complain about this neighbor and even visited him one day when he became sick. This is what Islam teaches.
The changing concept of neighborliness in our contemporary times can be best described by what Khadija Ahmad had said: strangers in the same building. This is something that is against the tenets of Islam, which teaches people to treat their neighbors as family.
In one of his sayings stressing the importance of good neighborliness, the Prophet (pbuh) said: “The Angel Gabriel was advising me to take good care of my neighbor to the point that I thought he would make him one of my inheritors.”
Such was the closeness of neighbors. They were not just people living in the same area but people connected with the strong bond of neighborhood.
