I believe that the two main positive forces in human life are love and motivation. Love makes you feel happy and safe, motivation makes you active and, consequently, fulfilled. When you are loved, you have the sensation that someone cares for you, that you are not alone, that you have a shoulder to lean upon whenever you need comfort and/or reassurance. Motivation gives you enthusiasm and zest because it tells you that you are here on Earth for a reason, that your “work” (whatever it may be) is necessary, that you can offer a positive contribution to the welfare of others and, consequently, of the whole world.
These two feelings are experienced in all stages of life, as they tend to repeat themselves, following a natural evolution. Babies need their mothers’ affection and attention and, if they don’t receive them, they wither like flowers lacking water. The same happens to elderly people, whenever they are neglected by their offspring or dear ones. Being cared for is what makes you feel “wanted,” what gives you the awareness of your value as a human being. We usually say that such awareness should be independent from the appreciation or just the acknowledgement of others. This concept is right if applied to “people” in general, such as friends, colleagues, distant relatives. But when it comes to “dear ones,” i.e. the individuals you, yourself, care about, the ones you have spent most of your life with, things tend to be different. In fact, being “human” makes you vulnerable to indifference and rejection. You can overlook such behaviors only if your superficial feelings are hurt. Otherwise, it can be very difficult. It may bring a person to lose hope and even the desire to continue living on.
Young adults are driven by motivation when they look for a job, undertake a career, start a family. They are in search of a life-goal that can satisfy them and they firmly endeavor to reach it. Therefore such necessity is automatically fulfilled by the responsibilities they are entrusted with (having a job to carry out, a family to support ...). Seniors find themselves in a different situation. They do not have such “necessity,” but they need something “to do” in order to feel that they are still useful members of society. Their life-goals have been achieved, they have had a career, raised a family and now ... they find themselves with nothing to pursue any more. Therefore the need for “motivation” rises again. They look for new stuff: Some dedicate themselves to a hobby, others do volunteer work, start traveling, try to meet new people. They look for something that can make them feel they are using their time fruitfully. If a young adult fails in his (or her) career, he might feel a “loser” for a while, but he still has the possibility to start all over again because he has time in front of him. An older person without motivation simply falls into depression because he (or she) is compelled to realize that time is running out and the end is approaching.
More often than not human beings do not ponder upon this kind of issues. They take life as it comes, day after day, they live in their petty little world, without ever bothering about the depth of their relationships, of their interactions with others. They speak and act without caring about the effect that their words and actions might have on others. As a consequence, they may make a dear one feel un-loved, un-cared for — even if this is not their intention. On the other hand, they might burn all their energies in their life-long job so that, when their career is over, they have no-thing that interests them, no additional skill, no side-passion ….They find themselves with nothing to do.
What is the conclusion? Only “you” can find the one that could be enlightening in your personal situation, either if you are a young adult, middle-aged or a senior. You might be willing to check what is the place that “love” and “motivation” have in your life. Too little of one? Of the other? Of both? Given? Received?
n E-mail: [email protected]
Blog: recreateyourlifetoday.blogspot.com
