We have been speaking about the Islamic manners in greeting others and replying when a greeting is offered to us. We also mentioned that Islam encourages its followers to exchange greetings, particularly the greeting of peace, or salam. We mentioned the Hadith that tells us that Salam is one of God’s names, and He has chosen it as a greeting for the believers. We will be presently discussing another version of this Hadith. However, it is not unknown in human behavior that some people do not reply to a greeting when one is offered to them. What should our attitude be when we experience such an un-Islamic and uncivilized attitude?
Abdullah ibn Al-Samit reports: “I said to Abu Dharr: ‘I passed by Abd Al-Rahman ibn Umm Al-Hakam and offered him the greeting of peace, but he did not reply to me.’ He said: ‘My nephew, how does that affect you? Someone better than him has replied to you: An angel to his right.’” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad).
Let us first ask about the man at the center of this case, Abd Al-Rahman ibn Umm Al-Hakam bint Abu Sufyan. His mother was Mu’awiyah’s sister and his father was a man from the Thaqeef tribe called Abdullah ibn Uthman. His uncle, Mu’awiyah gave him several posts, including the governorship of Kufah, but people were displeased with him. Therefore, Mu’awiyah sacked him and said to him: ‘Son, I have tried to promote you, but you insist on being hard to sell.’ There are other reports which suggest that he was self-centered. Perhaps he felt it beneath his position to be accosted by ordinary people. Hence, he did not reply to greetings. Abu Dharr, a well-known companion of the Prophet consoles the man who greeted him, because he was hurt. He told him that his greeting was certainly returned by an angel, even though he himself did not hear it.
Abu Dharr would not have made such an assertion unless he had heard it from the Prophet. And indeed the Prophet said something to this effect in the following Hadith reported by Abdullah ibn Massoud: “Salam is one of God’s names, but He has chosen to place it on earth. Therefore, spread it among you. A man who offers a greeting to others and they reply to him earns a step over them, because he reminded them of the greeting of Salam. If his addressee does not return his greeting, it is returned by someone better than him.” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Al-Bayhaqi and others).
This Hadith again confirms that the Islamic greeting uses one of God’s names, Salam, which means peace. Thus, it is intended to generate an atmosphere of peace within the Muslim community. Moreover, it earns a reward for the person offering it and the one returning the greeting, because both mention God. If some people grudge returning a greeting, this should not be disheartening or causing any of us to abandon the highly recommended practice of offering greetings to others. He should know that a greeting is always returned, either by the greeted person or by an angel close to him. Moreover, he earns a better position because he is the one who starts, using God’s name and reminding others to use it.
But what is the ruling concerning someone who does not reply to greetings? Al-Hassan says: “To offer a greeting is highly recommended, and to return a greeting is obligatory.” Thus, a person who does not reply to a greeting fails to do a certain duty. As a result, he makes himself open to God’s punishment. Furthermore, such a person is very miserly. In a Hadith reported by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn Al-Aas we have the following definitions: “A confirmed liar is a person who lies against his oath, and a miserly person is the one who begrudges greetings, and a thieving person is one who knocks off his prayers very quickly.” (Related by al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad).
This Hadith uses an adjectival form that implies a higher degree of the three qualities it describes. Thus, it speaks of a confirmed liar who does not hesitate to lie. This is when a person lies despite having taken an oath to the contrary. Thus, his assertion flies in his face to condemn him as a confirmed liar. Similarly a person who knocks off his prayers, without allowing himself time to properly fulfill its requirements, aiming to finish it very quickly is described as a thieving person. He actually steals from himself, because in his hurry, he does not give proper attention to the various actions, recitation, glorification and praise of God, which are required in prayer. Hence, he deprives himself of much of the reward he would have earned. Thus, he steals from himself, and who is a worse loser than that? In the middle of these two qualities the Prophet places the one who begrudges others a greeting of peace, either by not replying to their greetings or not offering a greeting when he should. Such a person is on a higher degree of miserliness.
A similar Hadith is reported by Abu Hurayrah: “The most miserly person is the one who begrudges greetings, and the most lacking in ability is one who is unable to pray to God.” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad).
We note that this Hadith speaks in the superlative degree, condemning one who does not greet others, or does not reply to their greetings, as the most miserly of people. Such a person is placed on a par with one who is unable to pray to God for what he wants. God listens to our prayer, no matter in what language or how clearly stated they are. He knows what we think, say or do. Thus, we only need to appeal to Him, put our request as we would put them to a person with whom we are most familiar. It is a matter of articulating what we feel and need. This is a simple thing that all people, regardless of their degree of education, eloquence or intellectual ability, can easily do. To feel unable to pray to God is certainly a mark of the worst disability.
The Prophet has taught us in every possible way that greeting others is to be praised and rewarded. He used to greet all people including young children. When we follow his example, we do not only follow the right path, but we also earn reward from God. Hence, we should know that greeting children is a commendable action that earns reward for us, in addition to the fact that it teaches these children to be sociable. Thabit Al-Bannani reports that Anas ibn Malik, a companion of the Prophet who was very close to him, passed by young boys and offered the greeting of peace to them. He then said: “The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to do this.” (Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood and Ibn Majah).
A similar Hadith states: “The Prophet used to visit the Ansar, greet their young and pat them on their heads.” (Related by Al-Nassaie). This is just another example of the Prophet’s care for the young.
