A marriage between a husband not as educated as his wife is
more likely to end in divorce, they add.
They claim women also find it difficult to marry men not as
educated as them for social, psychological and economic reasons.
A potential partner’s level of education was not a big issue
in the past. It is normal to see women not so educated marrying men with a
degree and vice versa.
Nowadays, a woman would be putting her happiness at risk if
she marries a man with a lesser education than her because of his ego, even if
he says it is not a problem.
Ragheda Hassan, a Jordanian woman who holds a bachelor’s in
finance and economics from Amman University, is married to a chef.
She did not see marrying a man less educated than her a
problem. She thought that love would conquer all, but after many years she was
eventually proven wrong.
“I got married to my husband after seven years of courtship.
I agreed to marry him because of his good character. My family refused to bless
the marriage because he did not complete his higher education,” she said.
“I was happy to marry the person that I love, but recently I
discovered the negative consequences of such a marriage. He banned me from
working because deep inside he felt threatened by my superior education. He
always misunderstands me when we talk and interprets everything I say as an
attack on him because he did not complete his studies. He has banned me from
social activities, friendships and even working.”
Thuraya Marzook is a Saudi teacher married to a rich Saudi
man. Her husband only completed the primary level of education. She said that
their differing levels of education have created a gap between them.
“My husband refused to listen to any criticism even if it
was true. He always tries to put me down to prove that he is the man of the house
and tells me that higher education is not for everyone and it is not a
measurement of the person’s character,” Marzook said.
“After two months of marriage, he stopped talking to me.
When I asked him why he was doing that, he said sarcastically that he might not
be attractive to the higher educated woman.”
According to Marzook, her husband blamed her for being
educated and making his life miserable.
“He is trying to damage my self confidence all because of my
certificate. The funny thing is that I never mentioned the differences in our
education to him; he is the one who talks about it all the time,” said Marzook.
Not only are women are afraid of getting married to
potential partners with less education than them, men also expressed their
insecurities about marrying women with higher degrees.
Essam Al-Ahmari, a Saudi employee in the banking sector,
prefers his wife to be less educated than him.
“Marriage means starting a new life full of duties and
responsibilities for both husband and wife. This new life depends on certain
principles, including education,” he said.
“Equality and respect will lead to a happy and successful
marriage. Unfortunately, the principle of equality will never be implemented
successfully in the Saudi family. Women, especially Saudis, become very proud
and strong when they complete their higher studies. They forget their
femininity when they become strong and isolate or marginalize the husband’s
role in the family. When wives are with a high degree of education, they want
to be in control.”
According to Al-Ahmari, most men restrict themselves to
uneducated women in order to control them.
“I believe that an educated woman is arrogant and will make
my life more difficult as she will try to control me,” he added.
Salha Al-Amri, a Saudi student at a private medicine college
in Jeddah, considers marrying a man less educated than her as akin to suicide.
“Men with a low education will limit my dreams and
ambition,” said Al-Amri. She said that it is important that both are educated
to the same level or else they will not understand each other.
“I have heard many stories of husbands who have stood in the
way of their wives’ success simply because they do not want to be bettered. My
friend once told me that husbands with a lesser degree who still encourage
their wives to pursue their ambitions do not exist.”
Reem Al-Arabi, an Egyptian teacher married to an unemployed
Yemeni man, complained about the financial difficulties that she faced because
of her husband’s lack of education.
“No doubt life would have been easier if my husband
completed his education. I have suffered in so many aspects due to his lack of
education. Although education has liberated me in so many ways, I would agree
and say it has worked against me too in some ways,” she said.
“For example, due to his lack of education, my husband can’t
find a job. I told him that I would not stay with him if he cannot financially
take care of the family. I am paying all the home expenses. Even when he makes
a little money here and there, he does not offer to help me. He just keeps it
for himself.”
According to Al-Arabi, her husband is handsome, kind, and
helped her in the house. He cooks and cleans. “All these things are not enough
for me as I am always forced to bear all the responsibility like a man,” said
Al-Arabi.
Dr. Mohammed Ali Al-Hasoun, social researcher and dean of
the information technology department at Al-Imam Muhammad ibn Saud Islamic
University in Riyadh, confirmed that Arab and Saudi families seek marriages
involving only educated men to ensure a financially stable married life and a
prestigious position in society.
“In the past, marriage to an uneducated man was not a
problem. Nowadays it is a must. We are not in a discriminatory war against
uneducated men or women, as marriage depends not only on the level of
education. It depends on understanding,” said Al-Hasoun.
“Most Arab and Saudi families refuse marriage proposals from
uneducated men or men less educated than their daughters for social and
financial reasons. They believe that only highly-educated men can offer money
and prestige.”
Al-Hasoun confirmed that any discrepancies in education
would never be acceptable between couples.
“A wife with a better education than her husband will suffer
a lot from his jealousy. Most men in the Middle East countries will never
understand their wives’ success, she said.