When he felt death crawling toward his bed, he called for his sons and daughters to come. Gathered around in his room, he looked at them, one after another, adults of different personalities, dreams, experiences, achievements and setbacks. He felt as a stranger among them. Life has passed by, with all its adversities and accomplishments, but in that moment, he felt like he had not lived at all.
It felt as if his life had started yesterday and it was about to end anytime today. He felt like he had never been in love, never witnessed the joy of passing a ball to his own son, of holding the hand of his little daughter in a swimming pool, of having a quite dinner with his wife, of being around family and friends laughing and letting go. It has been all about work, deadlines, negotiating with this, fighting with that, making money and buying stuff that he never enjoyed. It felt like he did not only miss his life, but the lives of all those gathered around him.
The above introduction might feel like a scene from an old movie, or like an excerpt from a melodramatic story. However, if we try to feel this situation, it would dawn on us that it could happen to anyone of us.
We play many roles and wear different hats in our lives; as professionals, spouses, parents, friends, family members, citizens, and as human beings with their own dreams and ambitions. It is but natural that these roles sometimes collide at one moment or the other. They fight to get your attention, to direct your efforts, to hold on to your dedication. Unfortunately, in juggling all these responsibilities, a lot of us lose control.
If you spent most of your time in the office, you will miss the joy of seeing your kids grow, living with them their life experiences, you will also miss the small gestures and touches that keep the passion alive in your marriage and that’s true, the other way round; if you are disengaged, unmotivated, and uninterested in the work you do, you will miss the opportunity to grow, to change, to learn new skills and to feel that sense of achievement.
This is not only about work-life balance, not only about being a loving souse, a dedicated parent and a devoted friend; it is about your priorities in life. In its simplest forms, life is nothing but a series of decisions we have to weigh, calculate and take. Sometimes, it is crucial to say NO, as it is, in other times, crucial to go for a YES. “A ‘no’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble,” Mahatma Gandhi once said.
It seems to me that learning how to deal with such challenges of life is not part of our culture. Balancing between life demands does not find its way to the list of concerns. Neither at home or at work! Only recently, some companies started to pay a little attention to the concept of work-life balance. But still, in the core of our culture, such balance is missed.
Go for this quick exercise; on a piece of paper, break down the activities you undertake throughout an average day; sleep, work, family obligations, TV, etc. Most probably, you would end up with a paper screaming with routine and missed opportunities. If you have no time on that paper for a hoppy, if it has been a while since you did something to break the daily routine, then you want to stop and reconsider. A similar study in the US, found that after sleeping and job hours, we have about 6 hours for everything else we need to do in life. Most Americans spent around 5 hours and 15 minutes of those 6 hours watching TV!
Routine in itself is not bad, it is part of how life goes anyway, but it becomes dangerous when we leave it to routine to decide our priorities in life. So maybe you need to stop checking your e-mails after working hours (it became illegal in France recently), do something different in the next weekend, plan for your summer vacation … simply, bring the balance back to your life.
@smaldosari
