Marital relationships are complex, and are not always a happily ever after occasion. After a failed marriage, many people decide they do not want another taste of the bitter divorce experience. Others, however, dive into another relationship, to make up for the emotional deprivation of their first experience. Some divorcees submerge themselves with work and become so accustomed to living alone that it becomes difficult for them to share their lives with another partner again.
However, despite harrowing marriage experiences, divorcees still have the right to self-determination. They still have the right to choose a life they desire, uninhibited by past experiences and mistakes.
Marriage is a natural evolvement of life and has no measure in terms of age or social status. It has to be based on mutual consent, rational choices and the conscious awareness of the duties and obligations of marriage.
Some women decide to get married again to spite their ex-husbands, or to escape from a certain way of life, or to get rid of the stigma of divorce. Other women decide to remarry to prove to themselves and society that they are still desirable, and successfully able to establish a family, despite being considered “second hand”. And, there are those who crave the stability of marriage, and still wish to build a happy family.
Feelings of fear and hesitation are natural feelings when embarking on the second marriage journey, for many reasons; including the fear of being mistreated again, and the fear of suffering. The emotional scars left by a failed marriage sometimes leave indelible marks and require time to heal.
There are no assurances or guarantees that the failure of a marital relationship will not happen again. However, there are also infinite possibilities for the success of a second marriage, because situations differ from one case to another.
One of the most common hindrances for the success of a second marriage are due to the endless comparisons people draw from their previous experience. Emotional baggage, is also another impediment, as divorcees find it difficult to trust their new partners and to be receptive to new emotional prospects.
On the other hand there is another problem, which is the reluctance of some families to accept their son’s marriage to a divorced woman. This in itself is a deterrent practiced by the community, that seriously affects the girl’s decision to marry or divorce, and should not be taken lightly.
Unfortunately, there are those who are seriously deprived of happiness and stability, for reasons beyond their control. There are also women who have been deprived from a second chance due to past mistakes. Despite the past, and despite our society’s reservations and stigmas, everyone deserves a second chance at happiness.
I have personally witnessed many successful second marriages, because the couple made choices based on the language of the mind. Their first experience provided them with valuable lessons, and made them more mature and conscious about what they want in a partner.
